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Offline (the 08/24/2016 at 6:02pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1610
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About ellenjasmin : Overthinking & over-caffeinated

Twitter/Instagram: @ellenjasmin

ellenjasmin's page activity

Visits<b>Fia315</b> - the 11/28/2016 at 6:30pm<b>Bowery</b> - the 11/09/2016 at 9:49am<b>Altair033</b> - the 11/05/2016 at 12:05pm<b>lutessiarose</b> - the 10/30/2016 at 1:21pm<b>Shayn_25</b> - the 10/20/2016 at 11:57am<b>ERaj1123</b> - the 10/15/2016 at 8:17am<b>Rynardhell</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 5:45pm<b>RCSLASH</b> - the 10/02/2016 at 8:41am<b>putty07</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 9:44am<b>Lct1196</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 2:54am<b>HitEm</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 2:49am<b>chewsef</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 12:37am<b>ItnHmn</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 9:37pm<b>SpartyOnWayne</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 9:32pm<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 7:58pm<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 7:26pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 7:16pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 5:51pm

Fucked!<b>Lct1196</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 8:56am<b>SpartyOnWayne</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 3:32am<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 1:59am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 1:16am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 2:58pm<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 6:57pm<b>BiGTiMeNeRD</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 10:52pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 8:48pm<b>laughingboy23</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 5:11pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 4:10pm<b>xbread</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 5:40am<b>Isak366</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 7:58pm<b>IamHercules</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 6:04am<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 1:31am

ellenjasmin's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of ellenjasmin's badges

ellenjasmin's favorite FMLs

Today, my workplace had a big employee photoshoot for an ad campaign. I was there all of 30 seconds before the photographer said, "What the fuck? Look guys, this ain't an ad for facial abortions." He then asked me and another colleague to step out of the shot. FML

by fuggers :/ / 11/24/2013 at 4:38pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Work

Today, my boyfriend won a diamond engagement ring through a citywide competition. Instead of proposing to me, he's selling it. FML

by arthise / 10/09/2013 at 3:03am / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy

Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it is. He just paused, turned to look me in the eyes, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML

by Anonymous / 09/06/2013 at 6:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents told me that I had been accepted into my top two colleges, but they didn't show me the letters because they were worried that if they spent money on tuition, they wouldn't be able to keep BOTH of their brand new Mercedes. FML

by jfanous / 09/01/2013 at 6:40am / United States (California) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I could hear my daughter playing with her Barbie dolls in her room. "Do you think your boss will agree to give you a raise?", she said. "Of course, we slept together!" My daughter is six. FML

by Poly24 / 08/27/2013 at 6:32am / Kids

Today, out of partying reflex, I downed Communion wine like a vodka shot. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 6:05am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating a corndog, when my boyfriend jokingly told me to "take it deeper". I did, and ended up choking and throwing up all over the table. FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2013 at 1:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while waitressing, I had a huge party. When everything was said and done I saw the tip they left me. It said on a napkin, "You're pretty. You can't put a value on a compliment." And that was it. I wish compliments paid the rent. FML

by Chellybelly92 / 07/01/2013 at 11:34am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I walked in on my dad's poker game. He didn't know I was there, and was telling his friends what he would do to my girlfriend if I wasn't dating her. FML

by Creepedout / 06/24/2013 at 9:27pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

by imarriedanaxemurderer / 06/18/2013 at 1:01am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

by OPhere / 04/15/2013 at 3:37am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML

by Susan / 03/18/2013 at 4:59am / Ireland / Intimacy

Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

by cremyfrozentreat / 03/10/2013 at 9:40am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2013 at 3:52am / United States / Miscellaneous