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Offline (the 10/02/2014 at 9:55pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1181
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About ellenjasmin : Amor vincit omnia
Twitter/Instagram: @ellenjasmin

ellenjasmin's page activity

Visits<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 5:09pm<b>Traeeee</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 7:33pm<b>Ayoomoofie</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 9:36pm<b>babeybazooka</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 9:24am<b>xbread</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 11:40pm<b>alex_jaguara</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 2:57am<b>tiger820</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 2:39pm<b>Role448</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 5:48pm<b>PrincessKenny</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 2:21am<b>jonathan896</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 3:43pm<b>dantee2005</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 1:27pm<b>Stxsyh</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 12:28pm<b>Isak366</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 1:58pm<b>Elainacs</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 11:57pm<b>Saber74</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 6:22pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 6:07pm<b>spartanharp</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 3:03pm<b>CosmicElk</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 1:50pm

Fucked!<b>xbread</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 5:40am<b>Isak366</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 7:58pm<b>IamHercules</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 6:04am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 11:44am<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 1:31am

ellenjasmin's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of ellenjasmin's badges

ellenjasmin's favorite FMLs

Today, my workplace had a big employee photoshoot for an ad campaign. I was there all of 30 seconds before the photographer said, "What the fuck? Look guys, this ain't an ad for facial abortions." He then asked me and another colleague to step out of the shot. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46141) - you deserved it (3631)

On 11/24/2013 at 4:38pm - work - by fuggers :/ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my boyfriend won a diamond engagement ring through a citywide competition. Instead of proposing to me, he's selling it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47777) - you deserved it (16243)

On 10/09/2013 at 3:03am - love - by arthise (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML


I agree, your life sucks (59026) - you deserved it (29361)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it is. He just paused, turned to look me in the eyes, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML


I agree, your life sucks (54486) - you deserved it (19699)

On 09/06/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my parents told me that I had been accepted into my top two colleges, but they didn't show me the letters because they were worried that if they spent money on tuition, they wouldn't be able to keep BOTH of their brand new Mercedes. FML

Today, I could hear my daughter playing with her Barbie dolls in her room. "Do you think your boss will agree to give you a raise?", she said. "Of course, we slept together!" My daughter is six. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51460) - you deserved it (8524) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/27/2013 at 6:32am - kids - by Poly24 - Sent from mobile version

Today, out of partying reflex, I downed Communion wine like a vodka shot. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24210) - you deserved it (46714)

On 08/10/2013 at 6:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was eating a corndog, when my boyfriend jokingly told me to "take it deeper". I did, and ended up choking and throwing up all over the table. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27515) - you deserved it (51797)

On 07/11/2013 at 1:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while waitressing, I had a huge party. When everything was said and done I saw the tip they left me. It said on a napkin, "You're pretty. You can't put a value on a compliment." And that was it. I wish compliments paid the rent. FML

Today, I walked in on my dad's poker game. He didn't know I was there, and was telling his friends what he would do to my girlfriend if I wasn't dating her. FML


I agree, your life sucks (64361) - you deserved it (4510)

On 06/24/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by Creepedout - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML


I agree, your life sucks (60632) - you deserved it (4369)

On 06/18/2013 at 1:01am - kids - by imarriedanaxemurderer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (51943) - you deserved it (15377)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:59am - intimacy - by Susan (woman) - Ireland

Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33680) - you deserved it (8734)

On 03/10/2013 at 3:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML

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