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elizabethkalyn's favorite FMLs
by anonymous / 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by yum yogurt / 10/30/2011 at 4:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML
by ...... / 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
by badass / 08/13/2011 at 3:25am / United States / Love
Today, mom was so upset when she found out that she is having another granddaughter that she wants us to pay her back for the little boy clothes that she bought before the sex of the baby was known. FML
by mommytobe / 08/04/2011 at 11:56pm / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/18/2011 at 12:26am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by skigal24 / 05/30/2011 at 10:59am / United States (Illinois) / Health
Today, after months of living with my roommate's horrific snoring, I looked over to see her sleeping quietly. Elated that I might actually get a full night of rest for once, I went to bed. Just as my eyelids began to droop, she started making vile hissing sounds. Yes, hissing. FML
by turnedintoinsomniac / 01/21/2011 at 2:46pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 9:20am / Spain (Asturias) / Intimacy
by ohman / 10/02/2010 at 2:28am / Singapore / Love
by migsman / 09/14/2010 at 10:43pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend saying, "I shall be the prince, and you shall be the princess," to his hamster. Once he saw me, he quickly turned to the hamster and said, "I have to go. The dragon is here." FML
by Cheese4men / 05/14/2010 at 7:28pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/13/2010 at 8:43am / United Kingdom (London) / Work
by DLS / 02/18/2010 at 1:05pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…