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elizabethholland's favorite FMLs
by kk / 01/09/2013 at 11:07am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/27/2012 at 11:58pm / Canada (Alberta) / Money
by Anonymous / 02/10/2012 at 12:31am / United States / Intimacy
by lolwut / 01/15/2012 at 1:17pm / United States / Intimacy
by shitttyyyday / 01/14/2012 at 2:47am / United States / Health
Today, in geometry class, we were working in dead silence. Apparently my phone wasn't on vibrate, and I received 25 texts all at once, while it blasted "Hakuna Matataaaa" out of my back pocket. They weren't even texts from friends, just Facebook notifications. FML
by Makala / 12/03/2011 at 3:15am / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML
by Anonymous / 10/28/2011 at 7:39pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
Today, I was in a pool locker room, surrounded by semi-naked people. While changing into my clothes, I accidentally pushed a button on my phone, causing it to make the loud, unmistakable camera shutter sound effect. Everyone definitely heard it. FML
by Roode / 07/22/2011 at 1:36pm / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/08/2010 at 4:50am / United States (Oklahoma) / Love
by superconfused16 / 08/20/2010 at 6:36pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking, I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML
by Patrick / 02/22/2010 at 8:29pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML
by cold-n-stinky / 01/12/2010 at 1:30am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML
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