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elizabethholland

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elizabethholland

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 107
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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elizabethholland's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

#20449894
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49363) - you deserved it (4758)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States

Today, my car was broken into. What was stolen? My daughter's $11 One Direction poster. What will it cost to fix my car? $1,000. FML

#20427068
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36372) - you deserved it (3657)

On 12/27/2012 at 11:58pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, things were getting hot with my boyfriend and I started to breathe heavy and moan. He then says to me, "Babe, can you calm down, we're having sex not running a marathon." FML

#19039141
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31031) - you deserved it (6444)

On 02/10/2012 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I switched from pads to tampons. It took me several botched attempts trying insert one before I succeeded, and now I feel like I've just raped myself. FML

#18814672
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34797) - you deserved it (12237)

On 01/15/2012 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by lolwut - United States

Today, I got my period at school. I didn't notice until a boy asked me if I'd killed someone in my pants. FML

#18802819
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42630) - you deserved it (3828)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:47am - health - by shitttyyyday - United States

Today, in geometry class, we were working in dead silence. Apparently my phone wasn't on vibrate, and I received 25 texts all at once, while it blasted "Hakuna Matataaaa" out of my back pocket. They weren't even texts from friends, just Facebook notifications. FML

#18417096
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9921) - you deserved it (31229)

On 12/03/2011 at 3:15am - misc - by Makala - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML

#18098530
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29954) - you deserved it (17617)

On 10/28/2011 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was in a pool locker room, surrounded by semi-naked people. While changing into my clothes, I accidentally pushed a button on my phone, causing it to make the loud, unmistakable camera shutter sound effect. Everyone definitely heard it. FML

#17217334
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32111) - you deserved it (4757)

On 07/22/2011 at 1:36pm - misc - by Roode (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, trying to be cute, I told my soon-to-be husband he was the ying to my yang. He responded with "Baby, you're the Monica Lewinsky to my Bill Clinton." FML

#13762058
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22365) - you deserved it (7695)

On 11/08/2010 at 4:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while leaving a restaurant, a little boy grabbed onto my leg and screamed, "Mommy! Don't leave me!" Then he looked up at my face, said, "Ewww," and ran away screaming in fear. FML

#12649609
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31466) - you deserved it (3920)

On 08/20/2010 at 6:36pm - misc - by superconfused16 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking, I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML

#8565371
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24475) - you deserved it (6698)

On 02/22/2010 at 8:29pm - work - by Patrick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

#7293990
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25464) - you deserved it (8120)

On 01/12/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by cold-n-stinky (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML

#6722392
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40306) - you deserved it (3462)

On 12/12/2009 at 1:02pm - misc - by RBEE (woman) - Sent from mobile version



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