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elitePotato

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elitePotato

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 September 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 222
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About elitePotato : That's my caramel ball python archon.

I got a dollar I got a dollar I got a dollar hey hey hey

elitePotato's page activity

Visits<b>carry_on</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 3:25pm

elitePotato's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

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elitePotato's favorite FMLs

Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML

#19342755
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29684) - you deserved it (3208)

On 03/25/2012 at 1:49am - animals - by uh-oh - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

#19239456
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14430) - you deserved it (50056)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML

Today, I finally realized the reason my son's grades have been dropping so much. Every time I drop him off at his tutor's house, they play Call of Duty until I pick him up. FML

#17534893
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32139) - you deserved it (5362)

On 08/21/2011 at 1:48am - kids - by callofdutyhater - United States (California)

Today, I was pulled over by a cop. He asked for my license and registration so I reached for my center console. I was then greeted with a gun to my ear because my coffee cup supposedly looked like a gun. I stepped out of my car to apologize and I was hit with a big stick. FML

#16152690
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39678) - you deserved it (8350)

On 05/13/2011 at 12:02am - misc - by phant776 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

#15154591
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13458) - you deserved it (34829)

On 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm - health - by stupiddrunk (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

#12822018
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39503) - you deserved it (14847)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He is the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML

#12438405
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30494) - you deserved it (8154)

On 08/10/2010 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by verno02 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19447) - you deserved it (4582)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML

#7501218
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39923) - you deserved it (3390)

On 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by Funnymann - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me to break up with me. Immediately after we hung up, I started crying hysterically. I thought I dialed my best friend, and as soon as the line picked up, I yelled, "That motherfucker broke up with me!" My now ex-boyfriend replied, "Yeah, I know I did." FML

#3641578
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43737) - you deserved it (18490)

On 07/10/2009 at 2:47pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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