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elitePotato

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elitePotato
  • Town/Country : Alabama, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 September 1990 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 68
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About elitePotato : That's my caramel ball python archon.

I got a dollar I got a dollar I got a dollar hey hey hey

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It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

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elitePotato's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

#15154591
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10257) - you deserved it (25886)

On 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm - health - by stupiddrunk (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

#12822018
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32866) - you deserved it (11289)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He is the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML

#12438405
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24522) - you deserved it (6337)

On 08/10/2010 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by verno02 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14066) - you deserved it (3956)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML

#7501218
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33383) - you deserved it (2612)

On 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by Funnymann - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me to break up with me. Immediately after we hung up, I started crying hysterically. I thought I dialed my best friend, and as soon as the line picked up, I yelled, "That motherfucker broke up with me!" My now ex-boyfriend replied, "Yeah, I know I did." FML

#3641578
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37428) - you deserved it (14151)

On 07/10/2009 at 2:47pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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