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elitePotato

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elitePotato

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 September 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 203
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About elitePotato : That's my caramel ball python archon.

I got a dollar I got a dollar I got a dollar hey hey hey

elitePotato's page activity

Visits<b>carry_on</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 3:25pm

elitePotato's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of elitePotato's badges

elitePotato's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54930) - you deserved it (27602)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I went to the movies with my husband and our 6-year-old son. My husband kept stealing popcorn from the guy next to him, to the point where the guy punched him in the face. The movie was stopped, the police were called, and my son is now inconsolable. FML

#20881087
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45207) - you deserved it (5133)

On 09/14/2013 at 3:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, while on vacation, I called my home phone to check the messages. Someone answered. FML

#20863583
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45323) - you deserved it (2405)

On 09/01/2013 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

#20858245
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55835) - you deserved it (4422)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

#20680679
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55051) - you deserved it (4279)

On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

#20539287
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49456) - you deserved it (24470)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML

#20460283
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19747) - you deserved it (36422)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my mom came home drunk and yelled at me for 20 minutes for not feeding the cat. We don't have a cat. FML

#20164653
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22074) - you deserved it (1447)

On 11/15/2012 at 7:36pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24715) - you deserved it (3673)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

#20151986
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19607) - you deserved it (6373)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was waitressing for a huge family. Their bill was $750. Excited about the tip, I was shocked to see only $0.50. As they were leaving, I threw the two whole quarters at their heads. Guess who also got fired today. FML

#20150831
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17921) - you deserved it (42081)

On 11/06/2012 at 5:37pm - work - by Misunderstood Waitress (woman) - United States

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
522 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74945) - you deserved it (8772)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML

#19848753
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6463) - you deserved it (46328)

On 06/26/2012 at 1:44am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a woman was staring at me. This went on for about five minutes until I couldn't take it anymore. I screamed at her to cut it out. It turns out she had a lazy eye. FML

#19472127
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7857) - you deserved it (28401)

On 04/15/2012 at 11:29am - misc - by Salvation711 - United States

Today, my parents told me that I will grow up to be a criminal, living on the streets, on drugs. All this because I took the last chocolate egg. FML

#19443098
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26987) - you deserved it (4933)

On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - misc - by uhhh what? - United States (Washington)



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