Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

elisios

Search for a member

elisios

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 11 October 1989 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 563
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About elisios : M
Adrenaline junky
wild, fun loving
like my music loud and my vehicles fast
want to know more just ask

elisios's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of elisios's badges

elisios's favorite FMLs

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

#18969254
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30500) - you deserved it (3486)

On 02/01/2012 at 3:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was breaking into a house when three police cruisers pulled up. They ran my social, my license plates, and asked me twenty minutes worth of questions, before allowing me to go back to work. I work as a locksmith; the homeowner had lost their keys. FML

#18968105
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34954) - you deserved it (3228)

On 02/01/2012 at 11:11am - work - by ABBenzin (man) - United States

Today, while helping my mom to cook, I was reminded that when the fire alarm goes off in our house, dinner is ready. FML

#18967284
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19207) - you deserved it (2340)

On 02/01/2012 at 7:21am - misc - by JohhnyKeroscene - United States

Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML

#18966203
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24717) - you deserved it (5280)

On 02/01/2012 at 1:13am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was at work, and was told to clean up the urine that a child had left down the slide inside the play place. While in the slide, another little kid peed on my head. FML

#18538451
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26158) - you deserved it (2152)

On 12/17/2011 at 7:19pm - work - by kellb123 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML

#18501609
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25438) - you deserved it (15892)

On 12/13/2011 at 7:26am - love - by reallyman__639 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34266) - you deserved it (6020)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned how hard it is to remove peanut butter from your own eye. FML

#18271050
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11246) - you deserved it (20375)

On 11/17/2011 at 6:22am - health - by ray - United States

Today, I woke up at 7am next to the man I swore I'd never get intimate with again. After trying to get back to sleep despite my shame and disgust, he ripped the loudest fart ever. FML

#17601830
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9128) - you deserved it (42469)

On 08/28/2011 at 2:37am - love - by JJAnd (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I wanted to show my teenage daughter what we did when I was her age. We used to breakdance, so I stuck on a Grandmaster Flash track, and tried some old moves on the living room floor. I spun out of control, smacked my head into a wall and pulled a back muscle. FML

#17516862
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10770) - you deserved it (36501)

On 08/19/2011 at 3:13am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML

#17326829
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27913) - you deserved it (5180)

On 08/01/2011 at 12:28am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while working at Kohl's this woman came up to me and asked if I was Native American, I said yes, she then says "Oh! I thought you guys went extinct." This is the country I live in. FML

#17297056
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42575) - you deserved it (3331)

On 07/29/2011 at 11:18am - work - by crazygirl12 - United States (Missouri)

Today, after ordering pizza, I heard some strange noises coming from my basement so I called the cops. The pizza came fifteen minutes before the cops. FML

#16848104
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31175) - you deserved it (4838)

On 06/25/2011 at 10:21am - misc - by woahheylex - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I complimented a girl on her stockings pattern. Turns out she wasn't wearing stockings. FML

#16797884
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27545) - you deserved it (7910)

On 06/22/2011 at 11:28am - misc - by jordeshting - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, at work, somebody stole my sunglasses. Fed up with the constant theft in my office, I stormed up to my boss, as he had long ago promised to catch the thief. He listened patiently to my rant before pointing out that my sunglasses were on my head. FML

#16235775
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10208) - you deserved it (41763)

On 05/18/2011 at 9:08am - work - by Red-cheeked -



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: