Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

elfftw

Search for a member

elfftw

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 June 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 66
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About elfftw : Just don't bother.

elfftw's page activity

Visits<b>Stazza11</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 11:35pm<b>SixInchScar</b> - the 04/06/2013 at 3:21am

elfftw's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of elfftw's badges

elfftw's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching some episodes of The Walking Dead with my boyfriend, after recently introducing him to the series. A scene involving Carl came on, and my boyfriend said, "God damn. You ever give me a kid that annoying, I'll shoot both of ya right in the head." FML

#20950616
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38078) - you deserved it (6803)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:50pm - misc - by kel (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML

#20585943
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61727) - you deserved it (5415)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by too young for this (woman) - United States

Today, I learned it's a bad idea to text and smoke while drunk, because there is an increased risk of throwing your phone off the balcony and sticking your cigarette into your pocket. FML

#20485916
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11531) - you deserved it (53735)

On 01/30/2013 at 5:13am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML

#20121138
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22655) - you deserved it (1486)

On 10/17/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I learned from my daughter's teacher that she has been wearing the same shirt for the past few weeks, ever since we had a fight about how I don't pay attention to her. FML

#20117763
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6660) - you deserved it (54948)

On 10/15/2012 at 6:28am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44409) - you deserved it (3878)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

#19806269
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28568) - you deserved it (2879)

On 06/18/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by DwarfFrog - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

#19772012
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24478) - you deserved it (3299)

On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I got a bikini wax. They said it wouldn't hurt too badly, and that it would just sting. My friend heard me screaming from all the way down the hall in the waiting room. FML

#19739055
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10744) - you deserved it (16668)

On 06/05/2012 at 3:42pm - misc - by higgles15 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML

#18273262
599 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43140) - you deserved it (11343)

On 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML

#17852902
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25578) - you deserved it (7784)

On 09/28/2011 at 12:55am - intimacy - by confused (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was woken up at 3:00 am to the sound of a tape recording of a baby crying, loudly. This has been going on for 3 nights, non stop. Why? because I brought up the subject of having a baby with my wife. Clearly, you can see where she stands. FML

#12241266
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32947) - you deserved it (11328)

On 08/01/2010 at 4:45am - kids - by kfoehslfns - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML

#4674126
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18105) - you deserved it (44637)

On 08/20/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving 3 of my guy friends to a party that was half an hour away. There was an awkward silence for most of the trip. I just figured out why now. I've had sex with all 3 of my guy friends. They talk about it when I'm not around. FML

#3210112
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12104) - you deserved it (98857)

On 06/25/2009 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: