About Elfftw
Just don't bother.
Elfftw - Followers
Elfftw - Followed
Elfftw's page visits
Hugged!
Elfftw's FML badges
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    33%
  • 42

    See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    1%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    2%
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    7%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    5%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    9%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    26%
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
    28%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    0%
The list of badges to find
Elfftw's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving 3 of my guy friends to a party that was half an hour away. There was an awkward silence for most of the trip. I just figured out why now. I've had sex with all 3 of my guy friends. They talk about it when I'm not around. FML

By Anonymous - / Thursday 25 June 2009 23:07 / Canada

Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML

By too young for this - / Friday 12 April 2013 05:11 / United States

Today, I learned it's a bad idea to text and smoke while drunk, because there is an increased risk of throwing your phone off the balcony and sticking your cigarette into your pocket. FML

By anonymous / Wednesday 30 January 2013 10:13 / United States - Richardson

Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML

By Anonymous / Wednesday 17 October 2012 20:08 / United States - Hobart

Today, I learned from my daughter's teacher that she has been wearing the same shirt for the past few weeks, ever since we had a fight about how I don't pay attention to her. FML

By Anonymous / Monday 15 October 2012 10:28 / United States - Richmond