elboon

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elboon

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 March 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1898
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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elboon's page activity

Visits<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 12:35am<b>Ninja_Porcupine</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 9:57pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 5:40pm<b>3051628</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 2:48pm<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 12:02pm<b>zAstonish</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 11:33pm<b>pandamanpants</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 2:05pm<b>guineagirl</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 1:01pm<b>gleave</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 3:57am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:19pm<b>Gabby125</b> - the 01/16/2010 at 11:36am<b>drainyou123</b> - the 11/16/2009 at 7:10pm<b>moonlight_daze</b> - the 08/24/2009 at 4:16am<b>eccentrix</b> - the 08/07/2009 at 1:47am<b>ReinaJay</b> - the 07/30/2009 at 7:43pm<b>spongebobrocks</b> - the 07/29/2009 at 9:39pm<b>himynameisadam</b> - the 07/29/2009 at 8:51pm<b>Mvibes</b> - the 07/29/2009 at 5:06pm

elboon's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

elboon's favorite FMLs

Today, while in bed with my game obsessed girlfriend, she told me I was a "noob" in bed. FML

by anonymous / 02/19/2010 at 8:47pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Intimacy

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2009 at 3:06am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I pulled over to help an attractive girl on the highway in the middle of nowhere. When I asked if she needed help she told me she was going to try starting her car one more time. She then started to make fake engine noises and told me that she was good to go and that I should be on my way. FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2009 at 2:27am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I woke up feeling awesome. I turned to face the sunrise in the window, and as I stretched and let out a big yawn. Only for my boyfriend to say "Baby, turn back over. Your breath smells like turds." FML

by lol smiley face / 11/28/2009 at 10:57am / United States / Love

Today, I was watching my 7 year old daughter and her friend jump on our trampoline. I was really impressed by all the flips they were doing, and I told her "Hey! I can't even do that." To that her friend replied " Of course you can't. You're fat!" FML

by madeyoulaugh / 11/25/2009 at 9:43am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One lady was hurt, and we had trouble getting any information from her as she was sobbing. I radioed in the details and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." She stopped crying, slapped me, and said, "I'm 28." FML

by Paramedic / 11/17/2009 at 6:16am / United Kingdom (Rochdale) / Work

Today, a Milkbone commercial came on TV. At the end of it, they whistle and throw a Milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and run head on into my new plasma screen TV. FML

by doglover / 11/03/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

by Michelle / 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the gym running with intensity on the treadmill. As I was working out, I noticed a few guys behind me staring at me. I figured they were checking me out because I was losing some weight and looking better. Turns out they were betting on how much longer "Fat Ass" could last. FML

by fatgirl4 / 07/20/2009 at 7:31pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was working as a waitress, I had to wait on a table of 13 people. I was struggling through it and when they finally left I went by the table to pick up my tip. Instead of a money I got a napkin saying "Here's your tip, don't be a waitress." FML

by Nick / 07/13/2009 at 10:04pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, I got home and threw my phone onto my bed as usual. This time it bounced out the window. FML

by jadakorn / 07/11/2009 at 9:48am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided I was going to bleach my bikini line, as I have not been able to shave there due to some ingrown hairs, and I also have to lifeguard every day. As it turns out, I'm allergic to the bleach. There is now an angry red, burning rash on my crotch that you can see around my swimsuit. FML

by nobleach / 07/02/2009 at 10:05am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents booked my 18th birthday party at Chuck E Cheese's. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2009 at 3:52pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the mall with my boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passed by me in the mall. He said "What are you baby-sitting or something?" He pointed to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on the giraffe yelling at the top of his lungs. FML

by merkris / 06/29/2009 at 11:41am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML

by LondonKitsch / 06/26/2009 at 12:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous