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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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elboon

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elboon
  • Town/Country : LA, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 2 March 1991 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 1183
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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elboon's favorite FMLs

Today, while in bed with my game obsessed girlfriend, she told me I was a "noob" in bed. FML

#8455591 (284)

I agree, your life sucks (11221) - you deserved it (3845)

On 02/19/2010 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

#7050962 (210)

I agree, your life sucks (5179) - you deserved it (39117)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I pulled over to help an attractive girl on the highway in the middle of nowhere. When I asked if she needed help she told me she was going to try starting her car one more time. She then started to make fake engine noises and told me that she was good to go and that I should be on my way. FML

#6528104 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (27609) - you deserved it (3909)

On 11/30/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up feeling awesome. I turned to face the sunrise in the window, and as I stretched and let out a big yawn. Only for my boyfriend to say "Baby, turn back over. Your breath smells like turds." FML

#6493156 (79)

I agree, your life sucks (20640) - you deserved it (6870)

On 11/28/2009 at 10:57am - love - by lol smiley face - United States

Today, I was watching my 7 year old daughter and her friend jump on our trampoline. I was really impressed by all the flips they were doing, and I told her "Hey! I can't even do that." To that her friend replied " Of course you can't. You're fat!" FML

#6443254 (76)

I agree, your life sucks (23025) - you deserved it (5467)

On 11/25/2009 at 9:43am - kids - by madeyoulaugh (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One lady was hurt, and we had trouble getting any information from her as she was sobbing. I radioed in the details and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." She stopped crying, slapped me, and said, "I'm 28." FML

#6338943 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (26749) - you deserved it (2654)

On 11/17/2009 at 6:16am - work - by Paramedic (man) - United Kingdom (Rochdale)

Today, a Milkbone commercial came on TV. At the end of it, they whistle and throw a Milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and run head on into my new plasma screen TV. FML

#6134962 (215)

I agree, your life sucks (35883) - you deserved it (3028)

On 11/03/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by doglover (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (52116) - you deserved it (11878)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, was my birthday. I rented a condo on the beach for me and my friends to stay at, they were supposed to pick me up. They left without me to stay in the condo I paid for. Determined to make my birthday a little better, I went to see what my parents got me. They got me a barbie, even though I turned 18. FML

#4119270 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (37419) - you deserved it (2644)

On 07/28/2009 at 10:17pm - misc - by fmbirthday - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at the gym running with intensity on the treadmill. As I was working out, I noticed a few guys behind me starring at me. I figured they were checking me out because I was losing some weight and looking better. Turns out they were betting on how much longer "Fat Ass" could last. FML

#3912171 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (39034) - you deserved it (4166)

On 07/20/2009 at 7:31pm - misc - by fatgirl4 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while I was working as a waitress, I had to wait on a table of 13 people. I was struggling through it and when they finally left I went by the table to pick up my tip. Instead of a money I got a napkin saying "Here's your tip, don't be a waitress." FML

#3729416 (263)

I agree, your life sucks (44421) - you deserved it (4505)

On 07/13/2009 at 10:04pm - work - by Nick (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got home and threw my phone onto my bed as usual. This time it bounced out the window. FML

#3663741 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (34447) - you deserved it (19555)

On 07/11/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by jadakorn (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided I was going to bleach my bikini line, as I have not been able to shave there due to some ingrown hairs, and I also have to lifeguard every day. As it turns out, I'm allergic to the bleach. There is now an angry red, burning rash on my crotch that you can see around my swimsuit. FML

#3423786 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (28516) - you deserved it (9302)

On 07/02/2009 at 10:05am - misc - by nobleach - United States (Georgia)

Today, my parents booked my 18th birthday party at Chuck E Cheese's. FML

#3338275 (293)

I agree, your life sucks (51032) - you deserved it (5010)

On 06/29/2009 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at the mall with my boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passed by me in the mall. He said "What are you baby-sitting or something?" He pointed to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on the giraffe yelling at the top of his lungs. FML

#3333969 (182)

I agree, your life sucks (37113) - you deserved it (8593)

On 06/29/2009 at 11:41am - misc - by merkris (woman) - United States (New York)