elainelovesyou

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elainelovesyou

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 4 December 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1374
  • Number of comments : 95
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About elainelovesyou : my name is elaine- lainie in other words. i use fml from my ipod. kbyethnx, love you (;

elainelovesyou's page activity

Visits<b>dom_g</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 3:09pm<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 3:10pm<b>Wane8822</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 8:03am<b>molloy2</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 10:03pm<b>superspy3214</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 2:29pm<b>balboa_2</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 8:30pm<b>plebs_everywhere</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 12:30pm<b>rootbeercheese8</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 7:08am<b>smeegle</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 4:06am<b>dmcintosh</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 11:48am<b>theswanlake</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 5:16pm<b>huskies8</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 1:27am<b>seetei</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 12:47am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 7:01am<b>JackAtPage</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 3:29pm<b>Allornone</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 7:12pm<b>tigerisabelle</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 1:12am<b>DerpyDerpinator</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 12:17pm

elainelovesyou's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of elainelovesyou's badges

elainelovesyou's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister and I were both on Facebook, updating our statuses. I set mine to "just got released from hospital with Baby Lily", as I'd had a baby earlier this week. My sister set hers to "menstrual blood smells like shrimp". Her status got 37 likes. Mine got none. FML

by married / 10/16/2010 at 8:31am / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I started some laundry late at night. Once my clothes were in the washer for about a half hour, I got bored and I decided I would listen to my iPod. After looking for it for another 15 minutes, I remembered where I'd left it; in my jacket... which is now nice and clean. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2010 at 5:57am / United States (California) / Geek

Today, my crush walked me home. As my mom opens the door, she tells me in Russian how ugly he is, and that I have extremely bad taste. Out of all the languages in the world, he happens to be fluent in Russian. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 10:45am / Brunei Darussalam / Love

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 9:20am / Spain (Asturias) / Intimacy

Today, I learned that my boyfriend has narcolepsy when we were having sex and he passed out on top of me. FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2010 at 1:16am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was playing basketball outside in my driveway. I saw three cute girls walking by, so I thought I would try to show off a little by doing a backwards slam dunk. I jumped, completely missed the rim and hit my head on the backboard. Then my mom ran out to help me up. FML

by Anonymous / 10/11/2010 at 12:59am / United States / Health

Today, I came home from a four day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she has been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

by JLD / 10/11/2010 at 12:34am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, we were building the homecoming float, the theme is Seasons of Love. We went around the yard and put random leaves on the float. My friend's dad looked at the float and said, "You do realize that's poison ivy?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2010 at 9:16pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my cousin and his fiancée took me to my first strip club experience. One of the strippers came over and danced for me. She pulled her thong string out and I tried to place the dollar in it with my mouth. I missed, to which she said "Put it in there, retard." FML

by Anonymous / 10/07/2010 at 7:45pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I'm on holiday in Vietnam, and was wearing a new shirt. In a restaurant, the waitress pointed at my shirt and said something I couldn't understand, so I just smiled and nodded my head. She then gave me a weird look and walked away. Turns out there was a huge spider on it. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2010 at 4:40am / Vietnam / Animals

Today, my wife of 2 years told me she was pregnant, after we've been trying for ages. Excited, about to call my parents, my wife then told me, "Don't get your hopes up it might not be yours, the father could be 5 other guys." And then asked me what I'd like for dinner. FML

by Cheated / 08/03/2010 at 12:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend was reading me a love poem he wrote for me. It was beautiful, and going really well until he read the last line, which had a girl's name in it. It wasn't my name. My boyfriend said "shit, wrong girl", and dug through his bag for a different poem. FML

by jemma / 08/04/2009 at 7:27am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

by tool / 04/09/2009 at 2:03am / United States (Nevada) / Work