eggmarie

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Offline (the 01/03/2016 at 9:31pm)

eggmarie

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7716
  • Number of comments : 253
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

About eggmarie : I'm Erika, I'm 20, and you probably shouldn't take me seriously.

eggmarie's page activity

Visits<b>XRayXLopez1</b> - the 09/25/2016 at 1:54pm<b>draftskink</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 4:41pm<b>anormalperson</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 1:29pm<b>Jkalia</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 1:25am<b>Epickiller</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 8:04am<b>Rich531</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 7:48pm<b>AwkwardBookworm</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 5:23pm<b>lombcover</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 12:17am<b>Cyntha</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 8:13am<b>fredyjabe</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 1:56am<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 4:36pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 8:46am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 1:06pm<b>Arieslink</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 3:08pm<b>Tractor_Bait</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 11:02pm<b>DumbledoreDies1</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 12:54pm<b>itsalanis</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 9:10pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 9:03am

Fucked!<b>Rich531</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 12:48am<b>fredyjabe</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 7:56am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 7:06pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 3:57pm

eggmarie's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of eggmarie's badges

eggmarie's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML

by SpongeAbii2 / 01/24/2012 at 6:47am / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

by anon / 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML

by Anonymous / 01/18/2012 at 6:30am / Australia / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML

by haggisbowl / 01/14/2012 at 1:52am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML

by maruskasommers / 01/09/2012 at 4:39am / Czech Republic (Pardubicky kraj) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into my elderly grandmother's trailer, used the bathroom and went to wash my hands. She had a soft spot in the floor that she covered with a bathmat. I fell through. Right leg up to my hip in the floor, boobs stuck on the counter. My husband and grandmother stood there laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2011 at 12:13pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend told me how depressing it is that she hasn't had sex in two weeks. I haven't had sex in 3 years. FML

by Sally / 12/26/2011 at 6:48am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

by blondie101 / 12/09/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm / United States / Love

Today, while I was watching TV, my boyfriend took my unicorn pillow pet and made it hump my arm. I told him to stop acting like a child. He replied, "Children don't have sex like this," and started making sex noises while making the pillow pet hump my arm faster and harder. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2011 at 8:01am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I rubbed my face in my armpit stubble because it felt like my ex-boyfriend's face. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2011 at 10:51pm / United States / Love

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

by Anonymous / 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML

by Great... / 11/09/2011 at 5:48pm / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy

Today, while cuddling up on the couch with my boyfriend, I asked him if this was his happy place too. He said, "Nah, it's in pussies." FML

by whatadisappointmnet / 11/05/2011 at 2:58pm / United States / Intimacy