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eggmarie

Offline (the 10/18/2014 at 7:30am) | Search for a member

eggmarie

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3241
  • Number of comments : 253
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

About eggmarie : I'm Erika, I'm 20, and you probably shouldn't take me seriously.

eggmarie's page activity

Visits<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 1:20pm<b>Dccj456</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 12:19pm<b>slimblack</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 10:35pm<b>KennyBound</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 5:24pm<b>ryanator008</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 11:17pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:03pm<b>tomboy480</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 6:19pm<b>SailorSolaris</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 7:47pm<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 2:27pm<b>Googolman</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 4:50pm<b>ilmanator</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 10:52pm<b>Rain4Tears</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 9:20pm<b>invadermaythe1st</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 4:57pm<b>ced443</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 2:26am<b>flametrafox</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 10:53pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 1:00pm<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 3:07pm<b>ocramavaf</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 11:45pm

eggmarie's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of eggmarie's badges

eggmarie's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up in jail charged with a DWI. I wasn't drinking last night and the only thing I remember is taking my prescription sleep medicine and lying down. FML

#19347272
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26392) - you deserved it (2071)

On 03/25/2012 at 9:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML

#19319000
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30972) - you deserved it (9709)

On 03/21/2012 at 3:27am - intimacy - by ReallyBro (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

#19285131
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25562) - you deserved it (6763)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a guy came by my house and demanded my fiancé come out and fight. He explained that my fiancé had been stupid enough to not only troll on a local interest forum, but to leave his name and our address, inviting people to "come shut me up if you think you're tough enough." FML

#19260782
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24492) - you deserved it (3031)

On 03/11/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by me (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML

#19237523
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19582) - you deserved it (5966)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:13am - misc - by thatchick3333 - United States (California)

Today, my grandma seemingly decided that it was a really nice day to put my cat in the dryer. FML

#19180967
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27844) - you deserved it (2173)

On 02/28/2012 at 7:46am - animals - by JeffeeBojangles - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML

#19136346
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34126) - you deserved it (4986)

On 02/22/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I started speaking gibberish in the middle of the conversation with my mom to see if she would notice. She didn't. FML

#19088881
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23941) - you deserved it (2681)

On 02/15/2012 at 8:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to chase my naked brothers around my house for twenty minutes, trying to get them to take a bath, all while they were chasing my best friend around yelling, "IT'S WIENER TIME!" FML

#19076647
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23899) - you deserved it (2464)

On 02/14/2012 at 5:29pm - kids - by ShylaMarie - Canada

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

#19064063
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32139) - you deserved it (6173)

On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my fiancé has decided to become my cat's personal trainer. This includes talking to the cat, attempting to motivate him to run up and down the stairs and telling the cat to call him "Coach Daddy". I now have a crazy fiancé and a very angry cat. FML

#18998575
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21905) - you deserved it (4344)

On 02/05/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by oh.geez (woman) - United States

Today, my fiancé has decided to become my cat's personal trainer. This includes talking to the cat, attempting to motivate him to run up and down the stairs and telling the cat to call him "Coach Daddy". I now have a crazy fiancé and a very angry cat. FML

#18998575
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21905) - you deserved it (4344)

On 02/05/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by oh.geez (woman) - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

#18954927
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30900) - you deserved it (4971)

On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States

Today, I got to listen while my grandma, who has dementia and therefore a poor memory, explained to me why the old man on TV was a sex god. She forgot everything once she said it. I got to listen to her explanation five times over. FML

#18942178
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21984) - you deserved it (2143)

On 01/29/2012 at 11:23am - misc - by scared for life (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate for the first time in several months. Then we heard our son yelling from the other room needing my help. He needed me to scratch his foot because the cat was on his lap and he couldn't reach it. FML

#18930916
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27089) - you deserved it (3862)

On 01/28/2012 at 1:27am - kids - by footscratching - United States



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