About eggmarie : I'm Erika, I'm 20, and you probably shouldn't take me seriously.
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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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eggmarie's favorite FMLs
Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML
by Anonymous / 05/30/2012 at 1:46am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend called me, panicking. Apparently he had a headache, but wasn't concentrating on what tablets he grabbed, and accidentally took tablets for "relief of period pain". He was convinced he was going to grow ovaries overnight. FML
by sopheeah / 05/29/2012 at 3:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Health
by anonymus / 05/26/2012 at 9:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
Today, my apartment has been echoing all day with the wails of my cat, Butters. He's yet again managed to trap himself in the umbrella stand. In the past, he has eventually gotten himself out, but this time I think I might have to use a hacksaw. FML
by Dom / 05/26/2012 at 5:35pm / South Africa (Eastern Cape) / Animals
Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML
by Anonymous / 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, my wife allowed my mother-in-law to move in with us. She believes the government spies on her in the shower, and that the Prime Minister is a shape-shifting lizard who wants to microchip us all. I have to live with this psychotic wench until someone is desperate enough to employ her. FML
by fuq / 05/22/2012 at 2:42pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Miscellaneous
Today, I'm found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I spoke at length about how we were going to handle things, which included him "forbidding" me from having an epidural, because he doesn't want our baby to "come out addicted to drugs." FML
by CalyenaL / 05/12/2012 at 9:35pm / Mexico (Baja California) / Health
Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML
by Class / 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by N / 05/07/2012 at 5:51am / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous
by Kwalker3 / 05/06/2012 at 2:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by sigh / 04/15/2012 at 11:10pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids
by girly / 04/12/2012 at 12:06am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/31/2012 at 11:10am / United States / Intimacy
by laststand11 / 03/28/2012 at 6:49pm / United States (Kentucky) / Kids
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me by maniacally zooming in and out of traffic while we were on his motorcycle. His mood turned to anger when I nervously admitted to having voided my bowels. FML
by Shantwozzlah / 03/26/2012 at 12:15pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,… Today, I was getting frisky with my girlfriend. It was going well until we had to put our clothes… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.…