eggmarie

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Offline (the 01/03/2016 at 9:31pm)

eggmarie

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6882
  • Number of comments : 253
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

About eggmarie : I'm Erika, I'm 20, and you probably shouldn't take me seriously.

eggmarie's page activity

Visits<b>Jkalia</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 1:25am<b>Epickiller</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 8:04am<b>Rich531</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 7:48pm<b>AwkwardBookworm</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 5:23pm<b>lombcover</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 12:17am<b>Cyntha</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 8:13am<b>fredyjabe</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 1:56am<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 4:36pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 8:46am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 1:06pm<b>Arieslink</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 3:08pm<b>Tractor_Bait</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 11:02pm<b>DumbledoreDies1</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 12:54pm<b>itsalanis</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 9:10pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 9:03am<b>alex_gen</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 8:02pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 10:09pm<b>jellybeans1234</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 4:37pm

Fucked!<b>Rich531</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 12:48am<b>fredyjabe</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 7:56am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 7:06pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 3:57pm

eggmarie's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of eggmarie's badges

eggmarie's favorite FMLs

Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2012 at 1:46am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend called me, panicking. Apparently he had a headache, but wasn't concentrating on what tablets he grabbed, and accidentally took tablets for "relief of period pain". He was convinced he was going to grow ovaries overnight. FML

by sopheeah / 05/29/2012 at 3:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, my grandmother was driving me to the mall. Suddenly, she stopped in the middle of the road. When I asked her what exactly she was doing, she said, "Oh, am I driving?" FML

by anonymus / 05/26/2012 at 9:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, my apartment has been echoing all day with the wails of my cat, Butters. He's yet again managed to trap himself in the umbrella stand. In the past, he has eventually gotten himself out, but this time I think I might have to use a hacksaw. FML

by Dom / 05/26/2012 at 5:35pm / South Africa (Eastern Cape) / Animals

Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, my wife allowed my mother-in-law to move in with us. She believes the government spies on her in the shower, and that the Prime Minister is a shape-shifting lizard who wants to microchip us all. I have to live with this psychotic wench until someone is desperate enough to employ her. FML

by fuq / 05/22/2012 at 2:42pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I spoke at length about how we were going to handle things, which included him "forbidding" me from having an epidural, because he doesn't want our baby to "come out addicted to drugs." FML

by CalyenaL / 05/12/2012 at 9:35pm / Mexico (Baja California) / Health

Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML

by Class / 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my dad why there were no photos of me on the wall. He replied, "Every time you disappoint us we burn one." FML

by N / 05/07/2012 at 5:51am / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

by Kwalker3 / 05/06/2012 at 2:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter told me that when she dies, she'd like her ashes spread on her laptop. FML

by sigh / 04/15/2012 at 11:10pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML

by girly / 04/12/2012 at 12:06am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I got sexually excited thinking about what kind of donuts I wanted to get in the morning. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2012 at 11:10am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my 15-year-old son why it wouldn't be a good idea to include a picture of the red Power Ranger in his "Weapons throughout history" project. FML

by laststand11 / 03/28/2012 at 6:49pm / United States (Kentucky) / Kids

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me by maniacally zooming in and out of traffic while we were on his motorcycle. His mood turned to anger when I nervously admitted to having voided my bowels. FML

by Shantwozzlah / 03/26/2012 at 12:15pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous