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eggmarie

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eggmarie
  • Town/Country : Ohio, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 December 1993 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 1507
  • Number of comments : 248
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 9 posted

About eggmarie : I'm Erika, I'm 19, and you probably shouldn't take me seriously.

If you're here because I said something that upset you, remember you're on the Internet and you can choose to not look at my posts.

But contrary to popular belief I can be a nice person (shit I'm in nursing school so it's kinda a requirement) so if you want to talk or whatever message me*

Okay that's all bye

*if you want to message me I do use the app but I check for messages like once every few days if I have time.

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eggmarie's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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eggmarie's favorite FMLs

Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML

#19663287
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28127) - you deserved it (3454)

On 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my wife allowed my mother-in-law to move in with us. She believes the government spies on her in the shower, and that the Prime Minister is a shape-shifting lizard who wants to microchip us all. I have to live with this psychotic wench until someone is desperate enough to employ her. FML

#19662623
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15441) - you deserved it (1554)

On 05/22/2012 at 2:42pm - misc - by fuq (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I'm found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I spoke at length about how we were going to handle things, which included him "forbidding" me from having an epidural, because he doesn't want our baby to "come out addicted to drugs." FML

#19613672
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19543) - you deserved it (2295)

On 05/12/2012 at 9:35pm - health - by CalyenaL (woman) - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML

#19608717
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21723) - you deserved it (3319)

On 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Class (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I asked my dad why there were no photos of me on the wall. He replied, "Every time you disappoint us we burn one." FML

#19586113
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24595) - you deserved it (4160)

On 05/07/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by N (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

#19580511
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24478) - you deserved it (3005)

On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)

Today, my daughter told me that when she dies, she'd like her ashes spread on her laptop. FML

#19475890
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16454) - you deserved it (2076)

On 04/15/2012 at 11:10pm - kids - by sigh (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML

#19453436
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13354) - you deserved it (34274)

On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got sexually excited thinking about what kind of donuts I wanted to get in the morning. FML

#19381776
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15952) - you deserved it (8651)

On 03/31/2012 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to explain to my 15-year-old son why it wouldn't be a good idea to include a picture of the red Power Ranger in his "Weapons throughout history" project. FML

#19365320
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11828) - you deserved it (1967)

On 03/28/2012 at 6:49pm - kids - by laststand11 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me by maniacally zooming in and out of traffic while we were on his motorcycle. His mood turned to anger when I nervously admitted to having voided my bowels. FML

#19350917
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15339) - you deserved it (2069)

On 03/26/2012 at 12:15pm - misc - by Shantwozzlah (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up in jail charged with a DWI. I wasn't drinking last night and the only thing I remember is taking my prescription sleep medicine and lying down. FML

#19347272
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21302) - you deserved it (1730)

On 03/25/2012 at 9:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML

#19319000
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23155) - you deserved it (6870)

On 03/21/2012 at 3:27am - intimacy - by ReallyBro (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

#19285131
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20016) - you deserved it (914)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a guy came by my house and demanded my fiancé come out and fight. He explained that my fiancé had been stupid enough to not only troll on a local interest forum, but to leave his name and our address, inviting people to "come shut me up if you think you're tough enough." FML

#19260782
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18756) - you deserved it (2152)

On 03/11/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by me (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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