eggmarie

Search for a member

Offline (the 01/03/2016 at 9:31pm)

eggmarie

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6659
  • Number of comments : 253
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

About eggmarie : I'm Erika, I'm 20, and you probably shouldn't take me seriously.

eggmarie's page activity

Visits<b>Jkalia</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 1:25am<b>Epickiller</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 8:04am<b>Rich531</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 7:48pm<b>AwkwardBookworm</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 5:23pm<b>lombcover</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 12:17am<b>Cyntha</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 8:13am<b>fredyjabe</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 1:56am<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 4:36pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 8:46am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 1:06pm<b>Arieslink</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 3:08pm<b>Tractor_Bait</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 11:02pm<b>DumbledoreDies1</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 12:54pm<b>itsalanis</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 9:10pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 9:03am<b>alex_gen</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 8:02pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 10:09pm<b>jellybeans1234</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 4:37pm

Fucked!<b>Rich531</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 12:48am<b>fredyjabe</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 7:56am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 7:06pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 3:57pm

eggmarie's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of eggmarie's badges

eggmarie's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my girlfriend of 5 years cheated on me. When confronted she told me, "I didn't get wet so it wasn't cheating." FML

by amiadori / 05/01/2009 at 5:50am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards that doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a maxi-pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a maxi-pad on my butt. FML

by Ian / 04/18/2009 at 10:24am / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, I was visiting my grandmother's house. She keeps the thermostat on 85 and after about 30 minutes I explained to her "I'm going to have to leave, it's just too hot in here". She replied: "You think it's hot in here, wait until you get to hell." I laughed. She didn't. FML

by Anonymous / 04/15/2009 at 3:45pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend and I were driving to Florida from Michigan. While going through Ohio my car hydroplaned over a puddle on the highway. I ended up hitting the median and my car got wrecked. Not only am I stuck in Ohio with a car that wont work, I got a ticket for $300 for hitting Ohio property. FML

by emie0209 / 04/10/2009 at 11:40pm / United States (Michigan) / Transportation

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

by blizzard_of_77 / 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML

by no_leather_of_any_kind / 04/07/2009 at 3:08am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I don't know very well. He told me to dress in formal attire so I assumed he was taking me to a nice dinner. He took me to his brothers wedding, and introduced me as "the one" to his entire family. FML

by lizzardbreath / 03/31/2009 at 6:44am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "what do I do now?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2009 at 1:40am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over the phone. He said there was someone else, and that he has been in love with her for a while. Turns out, the new girl was his online video game character. I got dumped for a video game. FML

by w00tz / 03/27/2009 at 1:12am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's work to surprise him by speaking in Spanish, his first language. I've been taking classes secretly. He smiled, kissed me, and then finished telling his friend, in Spanish, that I'm boring and ugly but he's got nothing better going on. FML

by Anonymous / 03/26/2009 at 8:02pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love

Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML

by douchetard / 03/26/2009 at 3:37am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I found a bell that had been tied into the tassel of my ski hat by my twin sister as part of a longstanding prank war between us. I'm deaf and have apparently been jingling like an elf for over a week. FML

by hipprep83 / 03/20/2009 at 1:40pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching this TV show where a man was describing how much he loved this woman, how he made every opportunity to see her, and how he loved her in a way nobody else could. I smiled, because that's exactly the way I feel about my crush. Then I realized the program was about stalkers. FML

by bluten / 03/18/2009 at 12:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 7:24am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy