About eggmarie : I'm Erika, I'm 19, and you probably shouldn't take me seriously.
If you're here because I said something that upset you, remember you're on the Internet and you can choose to not look at my posts.
But contrary to popular belief I can be a nice person (shit I'm in nursing school so it's kinda a requirement) so if you want to talk or whatever message me*
Okay that's all bye
*if you want to message me I do use the app but I check for messages like once every few days if I have time.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, I was watching this TV show where a man was describing how much he loved this woman, how he made every opportunity to see her, and how he loved her in a way nobody else could. I smiled, because that's exactly the way I feel about my crush. Then I realized the program was about stalkers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63894) - you deserved it (22626)
On 03/18/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by bluten (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (115954) - you deserved it (11101)
On 03/12/2009 at 7:24am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40977) - you deserved it (247046)
On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (460985) - you deserved it (572695)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (184855) - you deserved it (21611)
On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (184855) - you deserved it (21611)
On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I overheard my daughter compliment my mother by saying "My mom is way flabbier than you, Grandma." When I told her later that she hurt my feelings, she told me to "man up." She's seven. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43948) - you deserved it (7464)
On 03/02/2009 at 12:52am - kids - by alejita (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend said that being with me was his payment for past sins. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42966) - you deserved it (3377)
On 02/25/2009 at 4:12pm - love - by sadgf (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I asked my dad if he could fix my bed. It had been squeaking for some time. He shook his head no. He then continued with, "Your bed is a security system and as far as I can tell, you haven't gotten any in weeks". FML
I agree, your life sucks (37734) - you deserved it (3680)
On 02/24/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Florida)
Today, I called the florist and ordered a flower arrangement for my grandma, who I was told was sick. I said I didn't know what to get her, so just to send her something nice. I got a call from my mom calling me an inconsiderate bastard. They sent my grandma forget-me-nots. She has Alzheimers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37992) - you deserved it (5894)
On 02/23/2009 at 9:22pm - misc - by Originality18 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was discussing sex with my guy friends in their dorm when I asked one of them what he would do if I got naked and crawled into his bed. He replied, "Nothing. You're one of the guys now." They all agreed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53257) - you deserved it (17135)
On 02/23/2009 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by NeverGonnaGetAny (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67057) - you deserved it (5797)
On 02/21/2009 at 10:23pm - intimacy - by not getting any anymore (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I accidentally unplugged my headphones in the quiet section of the library, causing my music to play from my laptop at full volume. I was listening to Celine Dion. I'm the captain of the football team. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12780) - you deserved it (37297)
On 02/07/2009 at 9:31pm - misc - by misc - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went to a "party" with the boy whom I am interested in. It was the first time I met his friends. Turns out he and all his friends are hardcore Christians who don't drink and are celibate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14618) - you deserved it (6891)
On 01/23/2009 at 8:03pm - love - by Durrrrrr - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I've been dating a girl for a year and she's only touched my penis twice. Once by accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16898) - you deserved it (7377)
On 01/20/2009 at 11:52am - love - by jobless - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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