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eggmarie

Offline (the 08/27/2014 at 7:04pm) | Search for a member

eggmarie

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2951
  • Number of comments : 253
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

About eggmarie : I'm Erika, I'm 20, and you probably shouldn't take me seriously.

eggmarie's page activity

Visits<b>slimblack</b> - 22 hours ago<b>KennyBound</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 5:24pm<b>ryanator008</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 11:17pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:03pm<b>tomboy480</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 6:19pm<b>SailorSolaris</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 7:47pm<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 2:27pm<b>Googolman</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 4:50pm<b>ilmanator</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 10:52pm<b>Rain4Tears</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 9:20pm<b>invadermaythe1st</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 4:57pm<b>ced443</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 2:26am<b>flametrafox</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 10:53pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 1:00pm<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 3:07pm<b>ocramavaf</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 11:45pm<b>rabidunicorn</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 9:12pm<b>Quackadoodledoo</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 6:09pm

eggmarie's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of eggmarie's badges

eggmarie's favorite FMLs

Today, when approaching a stop light on my motorcycle, I went to extend my left leg as usual to balance when stopped. Apparently my shoelace loop got wrapped around the shift lever and "tied" my shoe to the bike. It's hard to look cool when you fall over for no apparent reason at a stoplight. FML

#5682176
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32100) - you deserved it (6995)

On 10/06/2009 at 1:33pm - misc - by Crotch_Rocket_Rider (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my boyfriend that my fantasy was for him to eat me out on the dinner table. My boyfriend told me his was me in a Pikachu costume. FML

#4921754
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42068) - you deserved it (8388)

On 08/30/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by pokie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112621) - you deserved it (8479)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML

#4574797
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69303) - you deserved it (10365)

On 08/16/2009 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my grandma went to get birthday gifts for my twin sister and me. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute? 'cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML

#4530948
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45703) - you deserved it (3653)

On 08/14/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by twingirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By caress she meant bitch slap from side to side. FML

#4267516
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59135) - you deserved it (8773)

On 08/03/2009 at 10:37pm - intimacy - by BeboKhaos (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting a bit steamy. After a few minutes, he jumps up and runs over to the closet and puts on a long brown jacket putting the hood over to his eyes. He looks me in the eyes and says 'I am Obi Wan Kenobi and I'm going to slay you with my light saber'. FML

#4223881
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49256) - you deserved it (9387)

On 08/02/2009 at 3:17am - misc - by dam01 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the boss returned from vacation. While he was gone we thought it would be a great idea to fill the water cooler with margaritas. Even after rinsing it we still have lime flavored water. Needless to say we got a company memo about appropriate office behavior. FML

#3958127
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7755) - you deserved it (47094)

On 07/22/2009 at 6:15pm - work - by shayes9 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a resident went missing at our nursing home. When I found him, a man in a blue shirt and red pants, he started yelling at me in confusion. I just thought it was his alzheimers. When I brought him to my administrator, I was told the missing resident was wearing a red shirt and blue pants. Wrong guy. FML

#3933300
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16661) - you deserved it (35448)

On 07/21/2009 at 4:22pm - health - by torkx3 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML

#3669335
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48045) - you deserved it (7971)

On 07/11/2009 at 3:38pm - intimacy - by policeopenup (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while on a run, I thought I'd run into a flock of geese in a field. Doing so, I learned that when you do this alone, the birds don't fly away, they attack. FML

#3485353
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11331) - you deserved it (57861)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:56pm - animals - by SwordFish8 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in my new boyfriend's apartment for the first time. As I was flipping through his photo albums, I came across one full of disturbingly candid pictures of me. I found some as early as my trip to the state fair, three years ago. I met my boyfriend two months ago. FML

#3398201
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (148404) - you deserved it (9344)

On 07/01/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got two viruses on my laptop. One was a fake anti-spyware program that cluttered the screen with pop-ups. The other opened explorer repeatedly, each time to a generic porn site. This all conveniently happened at work, on a projector and during a meeting. FML

#3389497
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48457) - you deserved it (6604)

On 07/01/2009 at 5:37am - work - by Robert (man) - United States (New York)



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