About eggmarie : I'm Erika, I'm 19, and you probably shouldn't take me seriously.
If you're here because I said something that upset you, remember you're on the Internet and you can choose to not look at my posts.
But contrary to popular belief I can be a nice person (shit I'm in nursing school so it's kinda a requirement) so if you want to talk or whatever message me*
Okay that's all bye
*if you want to message me I do use the app but I check for messages like once every few days if I have time.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43035) - you deserved it (7440)
On 07/11/2009 at 3:38pm - intimacy - by policeopenup (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was in my new boyfriend's apartment for the first time. As I was flipping through his photo albums, I came across one full of disturbingly candid pictures of me. I found some as early as my trip to the state fair, three years ago. I met my boyfriend two months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (121333) - you deserved it (5969)
On 07/01/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I got two viruses on my laptop. One was a fake anti-spyware program that cluttered the screen with pop-ups. The other opened windows explorer repeatedly, each time to a generic porn site. This all conveniently happened at work, on a projector and during a meeting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42112) - you deserved it (5075)
On 07/01/2009 at 5:37am - work - by Robert (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice, we were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes she asked me "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?". She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38086) - you deserved it (2462)
On 06/23/2009 at 8:08pm - misc - by Jpah (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend called me and I told him about the AnimeCon I'm attending, and that I wanted to go as Sailor Mars, he told me he had no idea what that was. After being mad for about ten minutes, I realized that I wanted to break up with him over not knowing what Sailor Moon was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8204) - you deserved it (70414)
On 06/22/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)
Today, was my boyfriends birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52327) - you deserved it (20584)
On 06/21/2009 at 12:16am - intimacy - by jinxofsocal (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my husband and I were having sex in the shower while our 5-year old was sleeping. Apparently, she wasn't sleeping and she asked me what those loud noises were. I told her I was singing. Now I can't get her to stop "singing" in the shower. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14669) - you deserved it (43706)
On 06/20/2009 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my phone died. I plugged it in to charge and then went out to run some errands. When I returned, my phone was no where to be found, and our shovel was on the floor, muddy and wet. I then discovered my 6-year old son had buried my "dead" 200$ palmpilot because he had felt sorry for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38443) - you deserved it (5584)
On 06/19/2009 at 1:57pm - kids - by no_service (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was at the cafeteria of my school with my boyfriend and he dumped me. I was kinda expecting it. What I wasn't expecting was that he'd start running in front of everyone, screaming "FREEEEEEEEEDOM!" at the top of his lungs and that he'd kiss the first girl he saw. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75780) - you deserved it (7528)
On 06/12/2009 at 2:39am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (81398) - you deserved it (15222)
On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my left-handed boss needed PC help. I said "right-click for the menu." She said nothing happened. Three times we went through this. Eventually I went over, asking her to show me what she did. She was using her right hand on the left mouse button. She earns $10,000 more than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52523) - you deserved it (2241)
On 06/11/2009 at 11:21am - work - by girlfriday (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I woke up to my wife talking in her sleep, "No Brandon! I don't want to have sex!" My wife won't have sex with me when she's awake OR in her dreams. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64963) - you deserved it (5052)
On 06/07/2009 at 5:49pm - intimacy - by BW (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66556) - you deserved it (165689)
On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was home on leave and having breakfast with my parents and my younger brothers. I guess I got too used to the rougher language around the Army barracks where I'm stationed. At the breakfast table I asked my Mom to "pass me the f***ing butter". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22145) - you deserved it (59386)
On 05/14/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, a parent came into my class and told one of my 6 year old students that their grandma died. Then the parent left. The kid started crying from the news, which then got all the other students crying. I spent the rest of the day comforting a class of kids crying over someone else's grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43802) - you deserved it (2458)
On 05/13/2009 at 1:46pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Yukon Territory)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
