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eggmarie

Offline (the 05/21/2014 at 5:47pm) | Search for a member

eggmarie

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2805
  • Number of comments : 253
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

About eggmarie : I'm Erika, I'm 20, and you probably shouldn't take me seriously.

eggmarie's page activity

Visits<b>Googolman</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 4:50pm<b>ilmanator</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 10:52pm<b>Rain4Tears</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 9:20pm<b>invadermaythe1st</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 4:57pm<b>ced443</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 2:26am<b>flametrafox</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 10:53pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 1:00pm<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 3:07pm<b>ocramavaf</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 11:45pm<b>rabidunicorn</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 9:12pm<b>Quackadoodledoo</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 6:09pm<b>KingofBogans</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 4:42pm<b>DippinGrizzly907</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 8:47pm<b>ebonyirony</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 12:17am<b>PvtParts417</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 4:59pm<b>Elgaard</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 3:04am<b>band_whore</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 11:54pm<b>thatsawkward7</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 2:58pm

eggmarie's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of eggmarie's badges

eggmarie's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend changing. She responded by screaming, throwing herself on the ground to avoid me seeing her, and crawling into the bathroom. We've been living together for 2 months. FML

#12948650
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32458) - you deserved it (4740)

On 09/07/2010 at 1:06pm - love - by drew - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to moisturise my dog's testicles because they got sunburnt. FML

#12305755
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40390) - you deserved it (7197)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:24am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was looking through my boyfriends phone, when I found a naked picture of myself. Too bad I haven't sent him any. Ever. FML

#12187876
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34609) - you deserved it (13541)

On 07/29/2010 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Sunshine.0.ninja - United States (Ohio)

Today, during an early morning preflight check, I spotted liquid pooling under the aircraft. I rubbed my fingers in it and sniffed. Good news? No dangerous fuel or hydraulic fluid leak. Bad news? My copilot was too lazy to walk back to the hangar to take a leak. FML

#11954418
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33085) - you deserved it (3877)

On 07/18/2010 at 1:02am - work - by Flyboy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I watched a stray dog hump a garden gnome in my front yard. So did my two year old daughter. I've already had to stop her "re-enactments" twice. FML

#11806163
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33212) - you deserved it (4300)

On 07/11/2010 at 4:05am - intimacy - by awkwardsituation - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I lost my anal virginity because my boyfriend "slipped". FML

#11117532
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52269) - you deserved it (21214)

On 06/11/2010 at 12:56am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I am 9 months pregnant. I had a dream where I successfully pushed and gave birth to my son. Meanwhile, in the real world, I successfully pushed and gave birth to a large dump. FML

#11011756
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42783) - you deserved it (6436)

On 06/06/2010 at 2:31pm - kids - by Annakins (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when her cat attacked me. I was pissed, so I grabbed the cat and rushed outside to get rid of it. Little did I know, her parents were home, sitting outside. So I was naked, with a feral cat in front of my junk trying to kill me. All I could say was "Nice Weather?" FML

#10761245
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19439) - you deserved it (34469)

On 05/25/2010 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML

#10707989
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17428) - you deserved it (25784)

On 05/23/2010 at 5:21am - misc - by Oops (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, fifteen minutes after dinner was served, my blind date says "It's good that you're smart. Not to be rude, but most girls aren't. I mean, at some point, I'm going to pull my dick out of your mouth and then it's good if you have something interesting to say." Check please. FML

#9643258
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40745) - you deserved it (7560)

On 04/05/2010 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Hate2Date (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, the boy I like finally acknowledged me. He came up to me and uttered two words: "Nice pooper." FML

#9097770
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18740) - you deserved it (3086)

On 03/15/2010 at 5:14am - intimacy - by shygurl434 - United States (Alaska)

Today, I woke up because I really had to pee. I got out of bed, went to the bathroom and went back to bed. Or so I thought. I did pee, but I only dreamed that I got out of bed. FML

#8972431
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28458) - you deserved it (3772)

On 03/10/2010 at 12:56pm - misc - by watersport (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a 95 on my term project. To congratulate me, my boyfriend said we're having sex tonight. I only get laid if I get good grades. FML

#8821519
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23882) - you deserved it (5809)

On 03/04/2010 at 10:48am - intimacy - by lalararara - United States

Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML

#8743976
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34970) - you deserved it (2328)

On 03/01/2010 at 8:17am - misc - by GuiltByTenuousAssociation (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML

#8719561
451 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7202) - you deserved it (53367)

On 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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