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eggmarie

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eggmarie
  • Town/Country : Ohio, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 December 1993 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 1423
  • Number of comments : 248
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 9 posted

About eggmarie : I'm Erika, I'm 19, and you probably shouldn't take me seriously.

If you're here because I said something that upset you, remember you're on the Internet and you can choose to not look at my posts.

But contrary to popular belief I can be a nice person (shit I'm in nursing school so it's kinda a requirement) so if you want to talk or whatever message me*

Okay that's all bye

*if you want to message me I do use the app but I check for messages like once every few days if I have time.

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eggmarie's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of eggmarie's badges

eggmarie's favorite FMLs

Today, as I put my 4 year old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML

#13450247
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16680) - you deserved it (6391)

On 10/14/2010 at 8:25pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28894) - you deserved it (16272)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

#13351667
418 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38133) - you deserved it (11246)

On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML

#13342166
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20636) - you deserved it (3382)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:01pm - animals - by ukfan - United States

Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML

#13342166
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20636) - you deserved it (3382)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:01pm - animals - by ukfan - United States

Today, my boyfriend wanted to prove how honest he is so he showed me numerous texts in his phone where he told other women he was in a relationship before asking them to sleep with him. FML

#13293908
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23940) - you deserved it (2153)

On 10/02/2010 at 8:12pm - love - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML

#13287262
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25247) - you deserved it (2870)

On 10/02/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend, the love of my life. Actually I ran into a billboard for her college, where apparently she is the new "poster girl" for their advertising campaign. I have now seen her on 2 billboards, a newspaper ad and a bus. FML

#13209934
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22438) - you deserved it (2239)

On 09/26/2010 at 2:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend changing. She responded by screaming, throwing herself on the ground to avoid me seeing her, and crawling into the bathroom. We've been living together for 2 months. FML

#12948650
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26642) - you deserved it (3661)

On 09/07/2010 at 1:06pm - love - by drew - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to moisturise my dog's testicles because they got sunburnt. FML

#12305755
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34686) - you deserved it (5642)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:24am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was looking through my boyfriends phone, when I found a naked picture of myself. Too bad I haven't sent him any. Ever. FML

#12187876
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28399) - you deserved it (10083)

On 07/29/2010 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Sunshine.0.ninja - United States (Ohio)

Today, during an early morning preflight check, I spotted liquid pooling under the aircraft. I rubbed my fingers in it and sniffed. Good news? No dangerous fuel or hydraulic fluid leak. Bad news? My copilot was too lazy to walk back to the hangar to take a leak. FML

#11954418
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27477) - you deserved it (2925)

On 07/18/2010 at 1:02am - work - by Flyboy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I watched a stray dog hump a garden gnome in my front yard. So did my two year old daughter. I've already had to stop her "re-enactments" twice. FML

#11806163
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27974) - you deserved it (3847)

On 07/11/2010 at 4:05am - intimacy - by awkwardsituation - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was explaining to my 4 year old daughter that we had to wait until the sign said "walk" before crossing the street and stop if it said "don't walk". Halfway across the intersection, the light turned. She refused to budge. I had to drag her in front of 3 amused looking motorists. FML

#11598758
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21117) - you deserved it (5669)

On 07/01/2010 at 10:05pm - kids - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was explaining to my 4 year old daughter that we had to wait until the sign said "walk" before crossing the street and stop if it said "don't walk". Halfway across the intersection, the light turned. She refused to budge. I had to drag her in front of 3 amused looking motorists. FML

#11598758
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21117) - you deserved it (5669)

On 07/01/2010 at 10:05pm - kids - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)



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