About eggmarie : I'm Erika, I'm 19, and you probably shouldn't take me seriously.
If you're here because I said something that upset you, remember you're on the Internet and you can choose to not look at my posts.
But contrary to popular belief I can be a nice person (shit I'm in nursing school so it's kinda a requirement) so if you want to talk or whatever message me*
Okay that's all bye
*if you want to message me I do use the app but I check for messages like once every few days if I have time.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29715) - you deserved it (1770)
On 10/15/2012 at 4:27pm - love - by 3023-dang - United States
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21058) - you deserved it (4559)
On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18058) - you deserved it (2815)
On 09/29/2012 at 9:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he says, "There's too much of an age gap between us" and that it makes him "feel like a pedophile". He's only four months older than I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18968) - you deserved it (1138)
On 09/24/2012 at 4:15am - love - by Alright. (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21698) - you deserved it (4926) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 09/21/2012 at 7:31am - misc - by minibuch1505 - Sent from mobile version
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29407) - you deserved it (7938) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version
Today, my pregnant wife broke down in tears over the fact that since moving to Brazil for my job, we don't have regular access to macaroni and cheese. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15746) - you deserved it (4156)
On 08/20/2012 at 6:06pm - health - by stupidbullcrêpe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)
Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13993) - you deserved it (1028)
On 08/14/2012 at 12:14pm - health - by Todd - United States
Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25926) - you deserved it (3336)
On 08/13/2012 at 8:19am - intimacy - by hmmmm (woman) - Australia
Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10552) - you deserved it (32411)
On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26664) - you deserved it (1431)
On 08/11/2012 at 3:37pm - work - by mikeissad (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my girlfriend, who I've loved and dated for over a year, confessed that she's actually straight as an arrow. All this time, she's basically been using me as an accessory to enhance her "social status" and make her guy friends horny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27454) - you deserved it (3117)
On 08/10/2012 at 6:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand (Krung Thep)
Today, I decided to be nice and pay a social visit to my slightly deranged grandpa. I ended up politely sitting through two hours of him lecturing me on how he "invented the modern tap", then on how sex is an Illuminati invention to "give sluts the STDs they need to kill us all". FML
I agree, your life sucks (12088) - you deserved it (1084)
On 08/03/2012 at 7:50pm - misc - by yeah okay then (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6753) - you deserved it (17240)
On 07/30/2012 at 6:21pm - misc - by NaKreen (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, I decided I need to get a life. I reached this epiphany when I failed to take notice of my friend calling me, until he started calling out my Xbox gamertag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4635) - you deserved it (13198)
On 07/29/2012 at 4:20pm - misc - by kumbuck3t15 (man) - Mexico (Baja California)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
