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Offline (the 01/02/2015 at 10:25pm) | Search for a member
About eggmarie : I'm Erika, I'm 20, and you probably shouldn't take me seriously.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today an elderly gentleman cummd into store complaining of a toothache so I showd him where the Orajel was locatd. He then insistd on making a big scene claiming that I really had the magic touch and if I would just stroke his cheek all his pain would go away. real FML
yesterday I took mah 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML
Today, I found out that the tinsel on my Christmas tree is worth a couple of hundred euros per strand. Well, that's how much the two that were surgically removed from my cat have cost me. At least the cat's going to be fine. FML
Today my car window got smasd in. Ta cop tat cama to taka ta raport said tay'd alraady caugt ta guy doing it a'd smasd in savaral otar car windows all of ta axact sama modal and color. His raason 4 doing it was simpla: a was drunk and "atd rd Jaaps".
Today, I met mah girlfriend's father fir the first time; he asked me to explain mah interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with yur daughter" and "I want to be in yur daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in yur daughter." FML
TODAY MY BOYFRIAND AN I GOT INTIMATA WIT AAC OTAR 4 TA FIRST TIMA!! HA SOVAD IS AND DOWN MY PANTS, TOUCAD ABOUT AN INC AWAY FROM MY CLITORIS, AN WISPARAD "CUMMM" IN MY AAR!! I DOUBT I'LL AVA AN ORGASM AVAR AGAIN!!
Friday 27 March 2015