About eggmarie : I'm Erika, I'm 20, and you probably shouldn't take me seriously.
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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
eggmarie's favorite FMLs
by daddy's girl / 01/21/2013 at 11:08pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, an elderly gentleman came into my store complaining of a toothache, so I showed him where the Orajel was located. He then insisted on making a big scene, claiming that I really had the magic touch and if I would just stroke his cheek all his pain would go away. FML
by EmberLove / 01/17/2013 at 9:06am / United States / Love
by itsrathersmall / 01/15/2013 at 4:58pm / United States (North Dakota) / Intimacy
by drake86 / 01/09/2013 at 11:42am / United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute) / Miscellaneous
by life// / 01/08/2013 at 6:56pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML
by still had to pay / 12/23/2012 at 4:36pm / Australia / Kids
Today, I found out that the tinsel on my Christmas tree is worth a couple of hundred euros per strand. Well, that's how much the two that were surgically removed from my cat have cost me. At least the cat's going to be fine. FML
by I Like My Cat / 12/21/2012 at 5:02am / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Animals
Today, my car window got smashed in. The cop that came to take the report said they'd already caught the guy doing it, he'd smashed in several other car windows, all of the exact same model and color. His reason for doing it was simple: he was drunk and "hated red Jeeps". FML
by Cold / 12/17/2012 at 12:08am / United States (Virginia) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm / Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan) / Animals
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML
by Tonguetied0496 / 12/10/2012 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Love
by Read The Fine Print / 11/24/2012 at 12:55am / United States (California) / Transportation
by anon / 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered "cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML
by Anonymous / 11/03/2012 at 2:02pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy
by thebeachisthatway / 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
- Today, I found my daughters hiding spot. Yeah there was dolls, matchbox cars and coloring markers.… Today, as a freelancing musician, I had to pass on the best gig I've ever been offered (worth over… Today, I visited a new tattoo parlor, as my previous artist made me uncomfortable with his drunken,…