edfitzge

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edfitzge

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 March 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 538
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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edfitzge's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:42pm<b>xxhayhayxx</b> - the 09/13/2009 at 2:34am<b>Skiver</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 7:58pm<b>wiggles666</b> - the 04/23/2009 at 6:16pm

edfitzge's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

edfitzge's favorite FMLs

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

by blizzard_of_77 / 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking out of a Starbucks and saw someone walking out behind me, thinking it would be the nice thing to do I held the door open. I was holding the door for about 30 seconds before realizing I was holding the door for my own shadow. FML

by Anonymous / 04/06/2009 at 12:14am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was ringing an old man up in the local grocery store when I had realized all he was buying was 3 bottles of vodka and a box of condoms. While I was loading the bags into his cart he laid his hand on my shoulder and told me "I'd take you home with me but chances are I would be arrested". FML

by Anonymous / 03/30/2009 at 9:13pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy