http://www.eddiesuniverse.com/
Today, I had a restraining order put on me. I have apparently been following a woman's daughter home after she leaves track practice and parking my car outside their home. I'm a math teacher at the school and leave everyday at 4:30. I have lived across the street for the past six years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32830) - you totally deserved it (902)
On 09/27/2009 at 1:24pm - misc - by stalker (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, while working as a parking booth attendant I decided to be nice and offer a woman free parking. I said, "give me a high five and I'll give you free parking since I already did the paper work." She said, "I'd rather pay," with a really disgusted look. I also had to redo the paper work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27502) - you totally deserved it (4813)
On 08/14/2009 at 8:19pm - work - by ParkingGuy (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I made the "Good luck, We'll miss you!" sign for my own going away party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34860) - you totally deserved it (3033)
On 08/14/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by loverpants (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14522) - you totally deserved it (37087)
On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (50701) - you totally deserved it (4839)
On 08/13/2009 at 11:23am - intimacy - by esb (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was at a party with my girlfriend and this older guy came in and started talking to me about his rock climbing lessons earlier that week. I told him "I'm really drunk, so I really couldn't give a shit about what you did." It was my girlfriend's father picking her up to go home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5237) - you totally deserved it (42113)
On 08/13/2009 at 10:16am - misc - by drunkard (man) - Germany (Bayern)
Today, I was volunteering at the library. A kid came up and asked me to help him peel the back off his sticker. It took me so long the kid left. Determined, I still tried to peel it off. Fifteen minutes later, the librarian came over, looked once at it, and told me it wasn't a sticker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6245) - you totally deserved it (23371)
On 08/12/2009 at 8:34pm - work - by librarygirl (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, while teaching swim lessons, a boy was holding a noodle and claimed it was his fishing rod. Trying to be fun, I grabbed on and told him to "reel" me in. He then yells out 'YAY, I caught a whale!'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29579) - you totally deserved it (7265)
On 08/12/2009 at 1:02pm - kids - by guard35 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found my car had been robbed. The thieves stole my GPS, my iPod and my digital camera. While I was filing the police report, the officer recommended I take photos for insurance purposes. Then she remembered my camera had been stolen. She actually started laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34441) - you totally deserved it (2925)
On 08/12/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by CosmicJoke (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, while studying in the middle of the night, my dad came home drunk. I helped him to the sofa and after clearing up his mess, he started going on about how useless my sister Vanessa was, and how good a daughter I am. I am Vanessa. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35224) - you totally deserved it (1343)
On 08/12/2009 at 8:57am - misc - by dkajxu (woman) - Singapore
Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39356) - you totally deserved it (1392)
On 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm - kids - by ahhahaha (man) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I was alone with a work acquaintance at lunch. A noise came from his pocket; he whipped out his iPod Touch and said "Sorry, I have to take this," before walking away with the iPod to his ear. Not only did he not want to talk to me, he thought I was stupid enough to confuse an iPod with a phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30796) - you totally deserved it (9263)
On 08/11/2009 at 8:17am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my mom said that we needed to have a family meeting because of all the issues that have been going on with our family. My mom, sister and I sat down and began to talk about everything. As I started to cry my sister looks at my mom and says "I win!". She bet my mom $20 that I would cry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28553) - you totally deserved it (4373)
On 08/11/2009 at 4:43am - misc - by amie (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I went to Safeway. Go in, get stuff, come out, and I have almost no room to get into my car because an SUV was parked in a compact spot next to me all crooked. Irritated, I got a pen and paper and wrote 'Nice parking you F*ing idiot' and stuck it on the windshield. Then I notice someone was in the SUV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8704) - you totally deserved it (26410)
On 08/11/2009 at 1:52am - misc - by Amanda (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I told my friend how I liked this girl but was too scared to ask her out. He told me "Why? The worst she's going to do is say no." Building confidence I approached her and asked her on a date. Then she replied "Get away douchebag!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41862) - you totally deserved it (2579)
On 08/10/2009 at 5:20am - love - by Rejected (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
