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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30740) - you deserved it (75087)
On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (380515) - you deserved it (21566)
On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was responsible for taking care of Hoppers, the rabbit belonging to my sons 3rd grade class. Tomorrow my son returns Hoppers so the next student can care for him. That won't be happening because Hoppers hopped out my 5th story window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53978) - you deserved it (10183)
On 04/18/2009 at 5:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards that doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a maxi-pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a maxi-pad on my butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83990) - you deserved it (4028)
On 04/18/2009 at 10:24am - health - by Ian (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I drove past a firehouse that had volunteer firemen taking collections. I take out a $20 and start to roll the window down when I remember my window was broken. I ended up driving by, holding the $20 against the window, staring at the fireman. Now the fireman thinks I was taunting him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40040) - you deserved it (11661)
On 04/18/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I stumbled upon my boyfriend's Facebook. His second Facebook. On which I also stumbled upon his second girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (80358) - you deserved it (4064)
On 04/14/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by Moisdone - United States (Florida)
Today, I went for a lunch interview for my dream job. The interview was great and at the end, I tried to seal the deal by complimenting my future boss. I said, "You're really hardworking. Do you always work on a Saturday?" He looked at me, smiled and then wrote something down. Today's Friday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10072) - you deserved it (42862)
On 04/10/2009 at 3:06am - work - by sifa (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)
Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML
I agree, your life sucks (176076) - you deserved it (19116)
On 04/10/2009 at 1:11am - animals - by lanbon182 - United States (California)
Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31477) - you deserved it (71960)
On 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by blizzard_of_77 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was going on a dinner date with a girl I had just met. After I picked her up I asked her if she would like to get lobster. She looked at me and asked if those were the red ones. Confused I nodded. She replied, "Sorry, I don't eat red meat." I laughed. She was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53635) - you deserved it (4252)
On 04/06/2009 at 1:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, when my boyfriend reffered to my hair, I told him I was going to dye it. He responded by saying, "finally, so how much you going for, 40, maybe 50 pounds?". I said dye it, not diet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51116) - you deserved it (6592)
On 04/05/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by lifestinks - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I took my son for a walk to tell him about the passing of our family dog. As we were walking by the river, Ozzy (our deceased dog) was laying on the riverbank. My son thought he just ran away and we found him. Turns out my husband was too cheap to pay the 100$ vet disposal fees. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64015) - you deserved it (4178)
On 04/04/2009 at 5:19am - animals - by cheaphubbyswife - Canada (Northwest Territories)
Today, my boyfriend was in the shower, and I decided to go join him. I took all my clothes off and stepped into the bathroom. I slipped on some water, and ended up hitting my head on the toilet and passing out. When I came to, I saw my boyfriend's dad looking over me in his towel. Wrong person. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66456) - you deserved it (32271)
On 04/04/2009 at 4:04am - intimacy - by showerstupid (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend was in the shower, and I decided to go join him. I took all my clothes off and stepped into the bathroom. I slipped on some water, and ended up hitting my head on the toilet and passing out. When I came to, I saw my boyfriend's dad looking over me in his towel. Wrong person. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66456) - you deserved it (32271)
On 04/04/2009 at 4:04am - intimacy - by showerstupid (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got in my car. When I sat down, I realized a cat had got in the back seat. The cat startled me so I jumped out and slammed the door. Locking myself out. I watched the cat scratch my seats up for an hour. I'm highly allergic to cats. I can't get in my own car without breaking out in hives. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57574) - you deserved it (5286)
On 04/03/2009 at 1:23am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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