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earljonez

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earljonez

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 30 April 1988 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 930
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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earljonez's page activity

Visits<b>Shayn_25</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 3:32pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 10:22am<b>JasonBB</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 12:38am<b>ptellini</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 2:52pm<b>besosforme</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 9:55am<b>KwtWaffles</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 12:14pm<b>Paras_800</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 7:19pm<b>MyDadLeftMeInKFC</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 5:29pm<b>Secret_Ninjaa</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 5:49am<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 10:45am<b>cutycat136</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 10:34pm<b>openminded8</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 2:20pm<b>ally_sanderson</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 11:05pm<b>shay_serendipity</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 9:38pm<b>mikethekid</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 9:26pm<b>avecave99</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 10:41am<b>callmeanything</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 9:00am<b>brieee</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 4:04am

Fucked!<b>kittina</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 2:40am

earljonez's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of earljonez's badges

earljonez's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw my uncle, whom I have not seen in five years, at a family gathering. His reaction to seeing me? "Holy SHIT you have BOOBS! The guys must be all over you!" I awkwardly replied, "No..." Then he muttered, "I know I would." FML

Today, I had to say to my 23-year-old son that it's not a compliment to tell a woman that he wants to jam his cock down her throat. FML

#21405973
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31484) - you deserved it (4294)

On 05/06/2015 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by dadoftheyear (man) - United States

Today, I found out why my husband has been coming home from work so late. Turns out he loves to help people. Specifically female people. And by help, I mean sleep with. FML

#21403935
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32645) - you deserved it (2464)

On 05/03/2015 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by I pick em' good - United States

Today, my fiancé called me 'thick' for not realising he'd been sleeping with his ex earlier. FML

Today, I overheard my uncle talking about me to his friends. Nothing serious, just that he'd fuck me senseless if we weren't related. FML

#21399079
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37105) - you deserved it (2445)

On 04/24/2015 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Laois)

Today, I tripped while rushing to my classes. In a desperate attempt to regain my balance, I grabbed the nearest thing to me. A fire alarm. FML

#21394235
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28410) - you deserved it (3340)

On 04/15/2015 at 6:12pm - misc - by Drill Drilled - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend took off my pants for the first time. She was more impressed by the pattern on my boxers than by my cock. FML

#21370915
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31814) - you deserved it (5782)

On 03/09/2015 at 1:13am - intimacy - by fruitoftheloom - United States (Arizona)

Today, I sent a picture to my best friend of the shoes I want to wear to prom. She replied, "Wow those are so unique". I guess she forgot that last week she told me she only uses the word unique when she hates something. FML

#21370634
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26557) - you deserved it (2642)

On 03/08/2015 at 5:49pm - misc - by uglyshoegirl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, hours after being turned down for sex, I woke up to my boyfriend sitting at the computer, jacking off to a picture of my deceased mom. FML

#21351381
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49510) - you deserved it (4195)

On 02/07/2015 at 6:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find no toilet paper and a piece of shitty wallpaper in the bowl. FML

#21350250
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26089) - you deserved it (2361)

On 02/05/2015 at 10:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my Breaking Bad obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks." during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML

#21347719
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30443) - you deserved it (3306)

On 02/01/2015 at 11:17am - intimacy - by SKYYYLLLARRRR!!!! (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

#21346279
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29796) - you deserved it (13144)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I did my first night of open-mic standup. The first 5 minutes went badly, but I don't know if it got any better afterwards, because a drunk audience member climbed up on stage and knocked me out. FML

#21341383
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29403) - you deserved it (3669)

On 01/21/2015 at 12:34am - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I woke up with every muscle in my body hurting so bad I could hardly walk. Participation in a triathlon, or overdoing it at the gym? No, the results of a day spent cleaning the house. FML

#21331613
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25908) - you deserved it (5966)

On 01/05/2015 at 9:51pm - health - by FlabbyPants (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was trying to show my family a cool website. Unfortunately my porn instincts kicked in and I started typing the URL of my favorite porn site. I couldn't stop myself before it autocompleted. FML

#21324815
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14333) - you deserved it (35084)

On 12/26/2014 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)



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