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earljonez

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earljonez

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 30 April 1988 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 972
  • Number of comments : 92
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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earljonez's page activity

Visits<b>tori_8520</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 1:42pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 6:22am<b>ohmissjane</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 6:38pm<b>missa8604</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 10:29pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 9:14am<b>Shayn_25</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 3:32pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 10:22am<b>JasonBB</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 12:38am<b>ptellini</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 2:52pm<b>besosforme</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 9:55am<b>KwtWaffles</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 12:14pm<b>Paras_800</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 7:19pm<b>MyDadLeftMeInKFC</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 5:29pm<b>Secret_Ninjaa</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 5:49am<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 10:45am<b>cutycat136</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 10:34pm<b>openminded8</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 2:20pm<b>ally_sanderson</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 11:05pm

Fucked!<b>kittina</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 2:40am

earljonez's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of earljonez's badges

earljonez's favorite FMLs

Today, I sent the girl I like flowers, only to have her later post a picture of them online, saying, "ha when losers send you flowers". FML

#21435086
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24108) - you deserved it (1731)

On 07/01/2015 at 10:04pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mother-in-law started chasing my kids around her house to make them smell her freshly-washed underwear. They were thongs. FML

#21435026
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19337) - you deserved it (1223)

On 07/01/2015 at 7:38pm - misc - by bleachingmykidsbrains - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my 3-year-old pooped his pants in a public bathroom. As I was squatting down, doing my best to clean poop off of his legs and the floor, a wasp flew up my pant leg. I was stung four times before I danced it out of my pants. FML

#21433955
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22205) - you deserved it (1424)

On 06/29/2015 at 5:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I realized I need to get my life together after spilling ramen while taking a bath, again. FML

#21432524
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20204) - you deserved it (6315)

On 06/26/2015 at 8:57pm - misc - by college estudiata (woman) -

Today, our outgoing boss told us about guy who's replacing him, saying he's very nice but very anal about things. Without thinking, I shrugged and said "Anal's not bad." Now everyone's calling me Anal-Girl. FML

#21432392
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22832) - you deserved it (7451)

On 06/26/2015 at 3:56pm - work - by very analytical (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML

#21432346
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11698) - you deserved it (35619)

On 06/26/2015 at 2:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, after all of the business cards for the car dealership that I work for were printed, the phone number was wrong, and the lady got so pissed about getting so many calls that she told them that they had won a free car. I had to tell dozens of ecstatic customers that they hadn't. FML

#21430788
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21488) - you deserved it (5131)

On 06/23/2015 at 6:37pm - work - by Luke - United States (Texas)

Today, cops showed up at my house looking for an ex neighbor. It would be all cool if before knocking they didn't politely wait in front of my window listening me and my boyfriend having sex for half an hour. FML

#21418507
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28467) - you deserved it (2617)

On 05/31/2015 at 10:19am - intimacy - by bonsai_girl - Croatia (Splitsko-Dalmatinska)

Today, it's been so long since I had sex that even in my sex dreams I'm watching porn alone. FML

Today, I saw my uncle, whom I have not seen in five years, at a family gathering. His reaction to seeing me? "Holy SHIT you have BOOBS! The guys must be all over you!" I awkwardly replied, "No..." Then he muttered, "I know I would." FML

Today, I had to say to my 23-year-old son that it's not a compliment to tell a woman that he wants to jam his cock down her throat. FML

#21405973
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32240) - you deserved it (4349)

On 05/06/2015 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by dadoftheyear (man) - United States

Today, I found out why my husband has been coming home from work so late. Turns out he loves to help people. Specifically female people. And by help, I mean sleep with. FML

#21403935
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33249) - you deserved it (2491)

On 05/03/2015 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by I pick em' good - United States

Today, my fiancé called me 'thick' for not realising he'd been sleeping with his ex earlier. FML

Today, I overheard my uncle talking about me to his friends. Nothing serious, just that he'd fuck me senseless if we weren't related. FML

#21399079
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37628) - you deserved it (2454)

On 04/24/2015 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Laois)

Today, I tripped while rushing to my classes. In a desperate attempt to regain my balance, I grabbed the nearest thing to me. A fire alarm. FML

#21394235
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28437) - you deserved it (3342)

On 04/15/2015 at 6:12pm - misc - by Drill Drilled - United States (California)



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