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earljonez

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earljonez
  • Town/Country : Arizona, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 29 April 1988 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 439
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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earljonez's favorite FMLs

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML

#20998821
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37087) - you deserved it (3874)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by whatjusthappened (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

#20862305
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51727) - you deserved it (5349)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70697) - you deserved it (6035)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my neighbors are moving. As we were saying our goodbyes, their 12-year-old son approached and thanked me for the times I forgot to shut the blinds and he watched me change. FML

#19945004
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15011) - you deserved it (24157)

On 07/16/2012 at 10:38am - kids - by oops123 (woman) - United States

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

#17931369
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22913) - you deserved it (3031)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by ...... (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I went to the movies with the guy I have been in love with for a long time. I laid my head on his shoulder and he held my hand throughout the movie. Afterwards he asked me for advice on the girl he likes. Apparently she isn't talking to him anymore. FML

#6208718
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30430) - you deserved it (2747)

On 11/08/2009 at 5:36am - love - by SkySkyChan (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in the car with my husband complaining about the way I look. His response, "Babe, if I cared about the way you looked I wouldnt have married you." FML

#4052154
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39990) - you deserved it (15457)

On 07/26/2009 at 11:16am - love - by JennaMarie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was alone in my friend's kitchen. I had "Don't Cha" stuck in my head all day so I decided to let it out by doing a slutty dance, including spinning around the support pole in the kitchen. I heard a noise outside and saw my friend's dad had been cleaning the windows. With a boner. FML

#2767851
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19701) - you deserved it (53474)

On 06/10/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by sluttydancer (woman) - United States (Texas)



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