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earljonez

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earljonez

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 29 April 1988 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1285
  • Number of comments : 109
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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earljonez's page activity

Visits<b>itzALiza</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 2:56pm<b>nickie_94</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 9:05pm<b>amc597</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 8:19pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 1:44pm<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 9:01am<b>Artigedude65</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 6:16am<b>LPac5295</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 1:55pm<b>RodzillaX</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 12:56am<b>Celeden</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 8:14pm<b>jamesderp</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 6:59pm<b>derangedplanet</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 1:45pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 4:11pm<b>EnigmaticSoul</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 7:12pm<b>MiLM</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 11:12pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 3:43pm<b>redrain567</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 10:41pm<b>jrpg2323</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 12:26pm<b>wansuhailah</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 12:29am

Fucked!<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 12:24am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 1:34pm<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 12:11pm<b>kittina</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 2:40am

earljonez's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of earljonez's badges

earljonez's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the gym. I'm 360 lbs and have finally decided it's time to change that. Some girl and her two bitch friends thought it'd be fun to follow me and belittle me at everything I did. When I mentioned it to the staff, they said that they were just "encouraging" me. FML

#21522018
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26209) - you deserved it (1719)

On 02/02/2016 at 5:17am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after not going out in over a year, I finally agreed to go out with some friends. I had a lot of fun and was very happy, up until when I was on my way back home and I noticed my car's sunroof had been stolen. FML

Today, I woke up to the feeling of something crawling up my leg. I threw back the bed sheets and saw it was a cockroach. My dad said my ensuing scream was so girlish that he wondered what the hell my sister was doing in my bedroom. FML

#21502817
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20300) - you deserved it (2272)

On 12/12/2015 at 2:14am - misc - by shat (man) - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother insisted that Mexicans sacrifice humans every year as part of their Catholic religion. The Swaggart guy on TV said so, and apparently, he can't be wrong, ever. FML

#21501482
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18281) - you deserved it (1272)

On 12/08/2015 at 1:36pm - misc - by wtfiswronghere (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was pushing so hard to take a number two that I ended up passing out. FML

#21475669
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21216) - you deserved it (5014)

On 10/03/2015 at 11:30am - health - by Till We Pass Out - United Kingdom (Calderdale)

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

#21470966
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29276) - you deserved it (2981)

On 09/21/2015 at 10:45am - misc - by Gassy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I heard my boyfriend telling a female friend that his ex was so gorgeous and out of his league that it made him feel inadequate, and so he now only dates within reach. She told him he's hot enough to have anyone he wants. 30 seconds later they were tongue-deep in each other's throat. FML

#21469110
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26542) - you deserved it (1838)

On 09/16/2015 at 7:25am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, someone photoshopped my head onto some nude girl's body and spread it around at school. It was shockingly convincing. Now everyone's calling me a slut, and the worst part is I have no idea which photo the person used or where they got it from, so I can't prove it's a fake. FML

#21467285
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26699) - you deserved it (1582)

On 09/11/2015 at 1:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I asked my teacher if he could tutor me for my upcoming exam. He said he'd look into it and let me know later. I later got called to the principal's office because my teacher claimed I'd propositioned him for sex. FML

#21467271
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25228) - you deserved it (1435)

On 09/11/2015 at 12:34pm - misc - by hale_551 (woman) -

Today, I started my new job. The first thing my coworkers asked me is what football team I like. When I told them I didn't really like sports, they immediately stopped talking to me and haven't since, even when I ask them work-related questions. FML

#21465159
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23066) - you deserved it (2601)

On 09/06/2015 at 8:46am - work - by NotASportsGuy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while trying to lift a weight bar at the gym, I ended up cracking my rib cage and almost passed out. My friend, who was supposed to be spotting for me, couldn't help until the last second because he'd snuck off to flirt with a pair of guys halfway across the room. FML

#21459605
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21640) - you deserved it (5470)

On 08/23/2015 at 8:35am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend got upset that I wouldn't give him head. He was visiting me at the hospital. FML

#21452283
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30547) - you deserved it (2653)

On 08/05/2015 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by TheIVkindaruinsthemood (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I wanted to buy a pack of cigarettes. My wife, who didn't want me to get them, decided it would be a good idea to jump on the hood of the car while I was driving off. She hit the car and fell off. My neighbor saw this. Neither her nor the cops believe me when I say I didn't hit her. FML

#21449719
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24513) - you deserved it (4487)

On 07/30/2015 at 10:06pm - misc - by Just wanted a cigarette (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML

#21443815
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33593) - you deserved it (4643)

On 07/19/2015 at 12:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went by myself to do a birthday party in a park, dressed as Elsa from Frozen. Everything was going fine until another Elsa and an Anna showed up to a nearby party. The kids then decided I was a fake and pulled my wig off. FML

#21439169
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26621) - you deserved it (2470)

On 07/09/2015 at 7:08pm - work - by princessrose - United States (Kansas)



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