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earljonez

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earljonez

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 29 April 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 632
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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earljonez's page activity

Visits<b>Diarrhea_Volcano</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 1:02am<b>LeahStrauss9512</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 1:51pm<b>littleteapot</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 9:16pm<b>DARKDAY07</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 5:59pm<b>Journiexo</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 5:55pm<b>Badluckbobby</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 10:47am<b>AFaye3964</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 7:23pm<b>jessica814590</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 5:34pm<b>DeltaDragonxx</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 1:52pm<b>foodluver7</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 4:39am<b>bigboi1992</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 7:33pm<b>IloveToLaugh143</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 4:34pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 11:52pm<b>mercrover</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 3:14am<b>cakefete2</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 1:50am<b>marykaitlyn</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 9:31am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 7:53pm<b>EndlessBoredom</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 7:59pm

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earljonez's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML

#21222062
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53085) - you deserved it (6403)

On 07/27/2014 at 1:12pm - love - by fingwhore (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

#21206177
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40294) - you deserved it (6121)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm - health - by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my wife muttering "God, I want you so bad". Figuring she was either talking to me or longing for the second cumming of Christ, I turned over to see which. Turned out she was rubbing one out to some guy's Facebook photos on her phone. FML

#21157398
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60794) - you deserved it (6710)

On 05/30/2014 at 6:05pm - intimacy - by lahiros (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML

#20998821
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39523) - you deserved it (4434)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by whatjusthappened (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

#20862305
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56335) - you deserved it (6004)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79953) - you deserved it (8255)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my wife of four years revealed to me that she once had sex with six men at once back in college. Apparently she still fantasizes about it when we have sex. FML

#20087984
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33049) - you deserved it (3381)

On 09/25/2012 at 11:09am - intimacy - by supapimpin (man) - United States

Today, my neighbors are moving. As we were saying our goodbyes, their 12-year-old son approached and thanked me for the times I forgot to shut the blinds and he watched me change. FML

#19945004
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16415) - you deserved it (25849)

On 07/16/2012 at 10:38am - kids - by oops123 (woman) - United States

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

#17931369
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25170) - you deserved it (3246)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by ...... (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I went to the movies with the guy I have been in love with for a long time. I laid my head on his shoulder and he held my hand throughout the movie. Afterwards he asked me for advice on the girl he likes. Apparently she isn't talking to him anymore. FML

Today, I was in the car with my husband complaining about the way I look. His response, "Babe, if I cared about the way you looked I wouldnt have married you." FML

#4052154
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41754) - you deserved it (16043)

On 07/26/2009 at 11:16am - love - by JennaMarie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was alone in my friend's kitchen. I had "Don't Cha" stuck in my head all day so I decided to let it out by doing a slutty dance, including spinning around the support pole in the kitchen. I heard a noise outside and saw my friend's dad had been cleaning the windows. With a boner. FML

#2767851
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21492) - you deserved it (56380)

On 06/10/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by sluttydancer (woman) - United States (Texas)



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