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dumbtwat

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dumbtwat

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  • Number of visits : 483
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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dumbtwat's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:17pm

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dumbtwat's favorite FMLs

Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML

Today, my friend told me that her favourite aunt died last night of a heart attack. The first thing I could think of to say was, "Oh no, is she okay?" FML

#15935216
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15347) - you deserved it (36189)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:11pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML

#15934305
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44692) - you deserved it (5609)

On 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by Scarlett - United States (Washington)

Today, I went on a date with a woman. She brought along her stuffed rabbit, and introduced us. FML

#15932020
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37686) - you deserved it (4418)

On 04/26/2011 at 8:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Israel

Today, I learned the only job that actually wants me is as a peanut butter factory worker. I've been unemployed for 9 months. I'm also allergic to nuts. FML

#15931079
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30561) - you deserved it (3306)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:49am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while buying groceries, I noticed that the lady in front of me had left a box behind. I grabbed the box and ran out the door after her. After turning around to find three employees chasing me, I noticed I had just stolen the donation box. FML

#15929536
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29415) - you deserved it (15410)

On 04/26/2011 at 12:45am - misc - by magicman - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at the bakery I work at. A man came in to pick up a cake he said he ordered, but we could find neither the cake nor the order form. He yelled at me about being 'incompetent' before remembering that he had ordered the cake from a different bakery. FML

#15923303
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32390) - you deserved it (2579)

On 04/25/2011 at 6:38pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

#15922476
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49178) - you deserved it (5785)

On 04/25/2011 at 5:39pm - misc - by Mike -

Today, my grandpa who is staying with us mistook me for a Japanese soldier and started to hit me with a bat. This is the second night in a row. FML

#15920978
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35560) - you deserved it (3425)

On 04/25/2011 at 3:12pm - misc - by nipman - United States

Today, I was running a marathon. I stopped to massage my stiff legs, when an elderly spectator taunted, "Oohhh yeah, that's it! Massage those legs good, boy!" She looked about 70. FML

#15919634
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27457) - you deserved it (4421)

On 04/25/2011 at 1:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in front of an entire street of people. We've only been dating for a week. One of the women in the crowd then called me heartless and threw a hamburger at me when I turned him down. FML

#15917797
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48942) - you deserved it (9064)

On 04/25/2011 at 9:49am - love - by Jade (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I dreamed that I was kidnapped by Charlie Sheen. FML

#15912541
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31052) - you deserved it (11508)

On 04/24/2011 at 9:10pm - misc - by woahitbechels - United States (Tennessee)



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