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dumbtwat

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dumbtwat

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  • Number of visits : 539
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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dumbtwat's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:17pm

dumbtwat's FML badges

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dumbtwat's favorite FMLs

Today, I went tanning for 15 min at my gym. When I got out no one was there, all of the lights were off, and the alarm started going off. Turns out the people working forgot about me, locked up, and left me there. FML

#15994879
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34637) - you deserved it (5047)

On 04/30/2011 at 8:19pm - misc - by Tara (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dad went through my room while I was out and threw away the "inappropriate pictures" that he found. They're the nudes I've been working on for art class. FML

#15992331
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35220) - you deserved it (4794)

On 04/30/2011 at 4:30pm - misc - by OhGreat - United States (Washington)

Today, my bladder decided to empty itself while I was on a rollercoaster. FML

#15991792
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32742) - you deserved it (9772)

On 04/30/2011 at 3:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my mom paid $40 for overnight shipping on delivery of paint for my Art major dropout sister, but insists on making me wait two weeks for my diabetes medication. FML

#15982407
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44621) - you deserved it (2792)

On 04/29/2011 at 9:00pm - health - by thanksmom - United States (California)

Today, while being robbed, a man heroically chased down the robber and got my purse back. He then looked at the distance between us, turned the other way and ran off with it. FML

#15974140
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44386) - you deserved it (3339)

On 04/29/2011 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a little girl wandered into the glass-cleaning area of the pub I work at. It's a dangerous place for a little kid, so I took her hand and asked where her mum was. The kid starts screaming and the mother appears in the doorway shouting "GET AWAY FROM MY BABY!" FML

#15967561
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31586) - you deserved it (3127)

On 04/28/2011 at 7:13pm - work - by srsly_what (man) - United Kingdom (North Yorkshire)

Today, I bought my boyfriend a gold watch for our 2 year anniversary. He bought me a jar of Nutella. FML

#15961473
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37164) - you deserved it (8897)

On 04/28/2011 at 9:16am - love - by nuttedthefout -

Today, my football coach thought it would be a good idea to get drunk, run to the other sideline, and scream, "WELCOME TO SPARTA, BITCH!" This would've been funny if he weren't also my dad. FML

#15960632
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34914) - you deserved it (3724)

On 04/28/2011 at 6:28am - misc - by spartanson -

Today, I got married. My sister and father could not attend because they already had plans. My sister went to the mall with her friends, and my dad went to a pool party. FML

#15949652
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49536) - you deserved it (4151)

On 04/27/2011 at 3:03pm - misc - by disfunctionalfamily (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML

#15948281
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65530) - you deserved it (7378)

On 04/27/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking a dump in a porta-potty at a fair. I had the runs really bad. All I have to say is that it's tough to take a shit that seems never-ending while other people outside are bitching at you and hammering on the flimsy door. FML

#15946238
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31825) - you deserved it (3401)

On 04/27/2011 at 6:50am - health - by c.m.g. -

Today, I got concussion after a goat ran in front of me while I was jogging. FML

#15942316
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28231) - you deserved it (3802)

On 04/26/2011 at 11:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my wife bought $80 worth of Glee songs on iTunes. FML

#15940298
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51713) - you deserved it (9782)

On 04/26/2011 at 9:20pm - money - by Chad - United States

Today, a kid with severe Down's came into my workplace, as he does every day. He's has an obsession with me, sitting at a table, staring and taking photos of me all day. His parents have no problem with this, because they think it's a miracle that he can focus so much attention on me for so long. FML

#15935397
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34538) - you deserved it (5933)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:25pm - misc - by notimpressed (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I actually heard my 14 year old son muse to himself, "If I can drive drunk in Grand Theft Auto, how hard could it be in real life?" FML

#15935332
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39184) - you deserved it (12205)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:20pm - kids - by nomorexbox - United States (Georgia)



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