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dumbtwat

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dumbtwat

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  • Number of visits : 500
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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dumbtwat's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:17pm

dumbtwat's FML badges

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dumbtwat's favorite FMLs

Today, I can't attend an interview for a great job because I have an exam. An exam I need to pass in order to have a great job like the one I'm missing the interview for. FML

#16039154
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29822) - you deserved it (3586)

On 05/03/2011 at 11:24pm - work - by Username -

Today, my dad hid the toilet paper and is charging me 50 cents a roll. FML

#16038977
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31222) - you deserved it (5215)

On 05/03/2011 at 11:12pm - misc - by wiper -

Today, my grandma moved in with us. Along with her 36-year old boyfriend that none of us knew about. FML

#16031811
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40120) - you deserved it (3391)

On 05/03/2011 at 12:32pm - love - by moetplease - Singapore

Today, after teaching my 4 year old son about the concept of "Stranger Danger," we had gone to a park full of people. When I walked up to him to tell him we had to leave, he ran, screaming "Stranger! Don't touch me!" FML

#16028300
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34367) - you deserved it (7225)

On 05/03/2011 at 1:01am - kids - by armywife980 -

Today, I came across an old man sitting on the pavement with a bottle of beer in one hand. He was crying. I thought I would be a good Samaritan and see if he was okay. After 15 minutes of hearing about how much his life sucked, he mugged me. FML

#16025758
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33603) - you deserved it (9043)

On 05/02/2011 at 10:24pm - misc - by kimftwxox - United Kingdom

Today, I got pulled over. Suspicious that I'd been drinking, the police officer made me walk a straight line and recite the alphabet. I failed both. I was completely sober. FML

Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in sexual activity anymore because it is getting too boring. FML

#16020666
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33601) - you deserved it (16188)

On 05/02/2011 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by beaverless - United States (Georgia)

Today, some kids stole all four wheels off my car. They were nice enough to leave a note and some money though, "for the bus". FML

#16019769
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32842) - you deserved it (2772)

On 05/02/2011 at 2:47pm - misc - by teinage - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML

#16016488
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8827) - you deserved it (55386)

On 05/02/2011 at 5:33am - misc - by Burnt (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of 'whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back.' Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML

#16016307
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37068) - you deserved it (9706)

On 05/02/2011 at 4:34am - intimacy - by ohtheshame -

Today, I realized that the cashier at the liquor store and I are already on a first-name basis. I just moved to this town a week ago. FML

#16014326
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11434) - you deserved it (31560)

On 05/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by alchy (woman) - United States

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

#16009360
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14844) - you deserved it (44637)

On 05/01/2011 at 8:21pm - animals - by Cassie -

Today, my mom informed me that she doesn't wash my clothes anymore. Instead, she sprays them with Febreze to "save money". FML

#16009098
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33307) - you deserved it (7401)

On 05/01/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by dirtyclothess -

Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriends dog. After several trips around the block and plenty of strange looks I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML

#16000939
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14840) - you deserved it (41421)

On 05/01/2011 at 4:20am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I wanted to take my girlfriend to a nice dinner before prom. Her parents followed her in, and joined us to "keep an eye on me." They interrupted all our conversations, ate an expensive meal, then got up and walked out when the waitress brought the $95 check, leaving me to pay for it. FML

#15999720
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53101) - you deserved it (3980)

On 05/01/2011 at 1:50am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)



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