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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was walking out of class when I saw a girl enthusiastically run to her boyfriend, jump on him, and smother him with kisses. I thought to myself "I wish my girlfriend did that." When the girl jumped off and turned around I realized she did, just not to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42547) - you deserved it (1698)
On 10/06/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by zitroskies (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my whole family thinks my girlfriend is imaginary. I sent her a text in front of them telling her that. She never responded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34754) - you deserved it (4045)
On 09/21/2009 at 12:16am - love - by Imaginary girlfriend - Sent from mobile version
Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16931) - you deserved it (58228)
On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15599) - you deserved it (68857)
On 09/16/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by sarahh38 (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, during a major fight with my boyfriend, I threw a necklace he had given me out the window, thinking it was just a cheap trinket. He then told me, for the first time, that that necklace had belonged to his now deceased grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8657) - you deserved it (61068)
On 09/14/2009 at 6:22pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38584) - you deserved it (2843)
On 09/14/2009 at 5:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, was my first day at Military School. When our commander walked into the sleeping quarters, instructing us all to get up and stand at the foot of our beds. I had morning wood. To which the commander wasted no time in adressing in front of the rest of the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31570) - you deserved it (3578)
On 09/12/2009 at 9:14am - misc - by Lukev7 - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my girlfriend, who is a dog trainer, was telling me all about the techniques she uses at work. I commented on how the dogs must be stupid to fall for such simple tricks, to which she replied "They worked on you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7357) - you deserved it (29813)
On 09/12/2009 at 8:00am - love - by TrainedBF (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN" in front of the whole restaurant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32046) - you deserved it (3564)
On 09/12/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by taman (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my co-worker came back from Thailand with big new breasts. She told me to go ahead and touch them because they have a funny texture for the first few months. When our GM entered the room, I had both hands down my co-worker's shirt, agreeing that they were unnaturally firm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9387) - you deserved it (25077)
On 09/10/2009 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I hired a private investigator to find out if my wife of 15 years is cheating on me with my brother. I don't know what's worse, that she is cheating on me, or that instead of cheating with my brother she's cheating with my brother's wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44933) - you deserved it (3693)
On 09/09/2009 at 5:20pm - love - by nick2.0 (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (111850) - you deserved it (8895)
On 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was riding on the Moscow metro. My friend and I were joking around in English about taking a nap on the nerdy business man next to me. As we laughed and made comments about him, which we thought he couldn't understand, he asked, "First time in Moscow?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (3589) - you deserved it (55161)
On 09/08/2009 at 1:30pm - misc - by HotToTrotskyite (woman) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)
Today, I was walking on a busy street. I saw this beautiful blonde walking across the street and a car was coming. I wanted to be like in the movies where the guy pushes the girl out of the way so she doesn't get hit. I accidentally pushed her the wrong way. Right into the car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8695) - you deserved it (52417)
On 09/07/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by ilovefootball (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my girlfriend's family came over and I thought it would be fun to watch old family videos of when I was a kid. A few minutes into my 5th birthday party, I excused myself and went to grab some snacks for everyone. I returned to realize I had recorded porn over my family videos. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5567) - you deserved it (45055)
On 09/06/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Ex-girlfried (man) - United States (Utah)
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