About drkwlf : I kick ass.
And there's only two things that need to be known. I hate U2. I hate Texans. If you're a U2 loving Texan, I hope you get set on fire and penetrated by overly-endowed bulls. Just sayin'.
About drkwlf : I kick ass.
drkwlf's FML badges
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
drkwlf's favorite FMLs
by chris / 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, while walking to work, I accidentally dropped my $400 cell phone on the sidewalk. The screen shattered into a million pieces. A woman passing by looked at the ruined phone and said, "Now that's what you call a dropped call!" She laughed and kept walking. FML
by Cellismasher / 11/04/2009 at 5:37pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by ohgod / 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Iowa) / Kids
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML
by unbelievable208 / 08/05/2009 at 1:28am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML
by thefailure / 08/02/2009 at 12:21am / United States (Georgia) / Love
by fmysexlife / 07/27/2009 at 1:06am / United States (New Hampshire) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up from the worst nightmare I've ever had. After tearfully explaining to my boyfriend, in detail, how bad this dream was, he told me to "put on my big girl panties" and make him breakfast. FML
by vanguardwiley / 07/24/2009 at 2:40am / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received. FML
by robinhoood / 07/12/2009 at 1:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I had to go through the embarrassment and pain of telling my parents I was pregnant. I took the test and it came out positive and I was freaking out. I got grounded for the rest of the year and they're really disappointed in me. Five minutes ago, I got my period. FML
by Anonymous / 07/11/2009 at 9:26pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
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- Today, my best friend, who just got his drivers license, convinced me to take my dads brand new car… Today my boss fussed at me for something my co-worker did yesterday "because you were sitting right… Today, my mom got a jukebox. She hasn't stopped playing the music on a high volume for the past two…