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About dr_nuts : 5th year medstudent
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Today, while at the store, I realized how socially inept I am when I said "excuse me" to a shopping cart because it was in my way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4811) - you deserved it (1124)
On 05/05/2012 at 11:19pm - misc - by BTM13 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, on the bus, I caught the eye of this ugly, sweaty girl giving me a death stare through the driver's mirror. I gave her a death stare back. Only then I realized I was staring at myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2595) - you deserved it (7785)
On 05/05/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by mhm (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4367) - you deserved it (7381)
On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1798) - you deserved it (5430)
On 05/03/2012 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by anonymous4991 (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7042) - you deserved it (2124)
On 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by dentistrygirl - United States
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15290) - you deserved it (15556)
On 12/14/2011 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me. Why? His best mate got dumped yesterday and my boyfriend thought it would be 'more fun' to be 'single lads together'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21533) - you deserved it (1830)
On 12/14/2011 at 6:00pm - love - by dumped (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, it's the last day of finals week. Unfortunately the only test I've passed this week is the pregnancy test I took during my lunch break in a Subway bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13635) - you deserved it (29899)
On 12/13/2011 at 12:16am - health - by LogicalMolly - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I walked out of the store, car keys in hand, only to discover my car was missing. After a frantic search, I started to hyperventilate and a nearly had a full-blown panic attack. Then I remembered I walked to the store. I am an idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6817) - you deserved it (7142)
Today, I started at my new waitressing job. Our uniforms have the name of the restaurant on the left chest pocket. My first customer asked me what the other boob’s called. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18993) - you deserved it (1883)
On 12/06/2011 at 7:26am - work - by boobywaitress (woman) - Australia
Today, a 65 year old toothless gas station attendant asked me out on a date in exchange for free gas, and I said yes. This is what my unemployment has come to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19927) - you deserved it (4928)
On 12/06/2011 at 2:03am - money - by BrokeandDesperate (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16034) - you deserved it (1052)
On 12/01/2011 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by sometingwong (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23170) - you deserved it (2697)
On 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22375) - you deserved it (2213)
On 11/30/2011 at 12:55pm - misc - by Madi - United States (California)
Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8851) - you deserved it (1081)
On 11/30/2011 at 9:57am - love - by preggers - Canada (Alberta)
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