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domovix

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domovix

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  • Number of visits : 394
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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domovix's page activity

Visits<b>Rancor</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 6:10pm

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50 favourites

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domovix's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML

#15693395
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10946) - you deserved it (47256)

On 04/08/2011 at 11:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML

#15355329
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38999) - you deserved it (8165)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Mr. Sensitive Nips - United States (Texas)

Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML

#14738365
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42280) - you deserved it (5209)

On 01/27/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Scaredwitless (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I wanted to punish a student for being late. I decided to start a pop quiz before he arrived. I was positive there wasn't enough time for him to finish. He scored full marks and I couldn't say a word. FML

#12693453
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7742) - you deserved it (66363)

On 08/23/2010 at 12:18am - kids - by K_M (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, my boss fired me because he said I was spending too much time surfing the internet. When I reminded him that my work computer isn't even networked, he said, "Oh, sorry, you're the one who takes too many smoke breaks." When I told him that I don't even smoke, he said, "Just go..." FML

Today, while having hot sex with my boyfriend, I was experiencing my very first orgasm. Right when my mother walked in. We had no blankets. FML

#7551052
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18542) - you deserved it (6717)

On 01/24/2010 at 7:23pm - intimacy - by meggasee - Sent from mobile version

Today, as I walked into my class, someone shouted at me, "Wild Snorlax Appeared! Use Your Ultra Balls!", since I am overweight and everyone in class laughed at me. I got made fun of by Pokémon nerds. FML

#7442333
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32425) - you deserved it (6988)

On 01/19/2010 at 7:03pm - misc - by snorlax (man) - United States (California)

Today, while studying in India, I was peacefully journaling, reflecting and enjoying the beautiful landscape. And then a monkey threw its poo at me. FML

#7160952
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27134) - you deserved it (4725)

On 01/05/2010 at 7:49am - misc - by Anonymous - India (Madhya Pradesh)

Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML

#5954141
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11539) - you deserved it (43805)

On 10/23/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

#5724132
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40227) - you deserved it (2879)

On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking with my very attractive friend who I like a lot. She then told me that her roomate wouldn't be home tonight, and if I wanted, I could come over and study history. I didn't get it. I told her no thanks, that I was covered, and it was chem I needed to study. An hour later, I understood. FML

#5173603
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11337) - you deserved it (66734)

On 09/10/2009 at 7:17pm - love - by itisthedude (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend was complaining of a scorpion sting on his leg. I told him to stop whining and get over it. Later, as I went to sleep, I felt a sharp pain in my arm. As I flipped on the light, I saw a scorpion crawling over the blankets. Now my entire arm is numb and I can't stop crying. FML

#4438831
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8308) - you deserved it (90352)

On 08/10/2009 at 11:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after selling their car, my parents decided to inform me that my car (that I paid for myself) is now going to be the "Family Car". They also informed me that since it is, after all, my car, I'll still have to pay for the gas and maintenance. FML

#4429159
345 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73949) - you deserved it (3575)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:05pm - misc - by thanksforthat (woman) - United States (Texas)



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