Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

domking1315

Online | Search for a member

domking1315

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3556
  • Number of comments : 364
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About domking1315 : I died a little bit inside when I read these FML's in moderation:

"Today I was thinking that i have the desire to move to a tribe that has never made contact with civilization and have sex with one of the guys and have freaky sex with him and turn him out! And then he told all his friends that I'm the queen of sex and be tribe slut. What do you think?"

"Today I woke up to my penis chopped off and my girlfriend cooking it I'm broiled water... She's laughing at my pain while I'm sitting in the hospital trying to cut off her vagina!"

"Today I fucked a dog I'm not proud of it but it happens."

"Today I was jerkin' it in the shower. just as I reached climax my baby sister walked in. being two years old, she opened the curtain and I trurned around amd ended up cumming on her face. then she screamed and my dad walked in."

"Today I farted and my ex boyfriends cum shot out at my wife."

domking1315's page activity

Visits<b>YAAAAAAYYYYYY</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 2:56am<b>Noah197099</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 10:18pm<b>heroforhirex95</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 2:08am<b>Majrdestroy</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 5:13pm<b>xluciferx666</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 9:15am<b>chuckster2005</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 10:56pm<b>maddygymnast</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 10:09pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 2:53pm<b>alice_18</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 12:37pm<b>shiny_shipper</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 12:27pm<b>RageWolf16</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 11:33am<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 11:11pm<b>Kbuk13jfkdm</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 10:41pm<b>darkparadox</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 4:06am<b>Queen_bee1234</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 2:05pm<b>Connerm</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 10:36am<b>MrBuffalo</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 10:35am<b>jbond97</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 7:22am

domking1315's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of domking1315's badges

domking1315's favorite FMLs

Today, someone hit my parked car. The impact caused the front of the car to go up onto the sidewalk, and I got a ticket for parking there. FML

#21046882
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47381) - you deserved it (3606)

On 02/01/2014 at 2:47am - misc - by ccgundum (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

#21045407
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41583) - you deserved it (4530)

On 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I took a nap in my car right after finishing up at work. I was woken up by a hobo sitting in the passenger seat, watching me sleep. Apparently, he'd managed to unlock the door with a wire hanger. FML

#21027083
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45842) - you deserved it (5384)

On 01/13/2014 at 10:31pm - misc - by ShelterForTheHomless (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friends and I went camping in the woods. I fell asleep first. Waking up hours later to them bunched up together in the middle of the tent and me half-way outside, I confronted them about it. They admitted, "We heard a bear so we needed a sacrifice." FML

#21020901
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47729) - you deserved it (5085)

On 01/07/2014 at 11:37pm - misc - by bear food - United States (California)

Today, I tried to prove to my girlfriend how much I've matured and that our relationship comes before anything else in my life. So I went to delete my character in World of Warcraft. I tried to confirm it, but I couldn't, breaking down in tears instead. FML

#21010392
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35607) - you deserved it (28647)

On 12/30/2013 at 12:20pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I would like to thank the program designer that put "Set as home page" directly under "Remove from history". FML

#20991949
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37909) - you deserved it (10073)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by The_Rest_of_the_Story (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up from a drunken one-night-stand. The person I slept with turned out to be heavily pregnant. She tried to convince me that I am the father and that I passed out for 7 months. FML

Today, I got into a fight with a lawn chair. It won. FML

#20961117
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29110) - you deserved it (10827)

On 11/17/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by what_a_loner - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my trusty old car decided that it no longer needed its back passenger window-pane, and that in fact the window would look a lot better smashed to pieces by the roadside. FML

#20957404
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31253) - you deserved it (2927)

On 11/14/2013 at 10:17am - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland

Today, I was maced. Not by a person, but rather by one of those automatic air fresheners in the bathroom. It was conveniently placed at eye level, you know, for freshness. FML

#20921961
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39298) - you deserved it (2825)

On 10/15/2013 at 8:38pm - health - by erockinthesuburb (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got dumped because a guy sat next to me at a party and I didn't get up to change seats. Apparently, it means I subconsciously like the guy who sat down. FML

#20919316
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41957) - you deserved it (3752)

On 10/13/2013 at 8:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my mom and I got the answer to the question, "Is our dog really dumb enough to jump out of the window of a moving vehicle?" The answer: Yes. FML

#20904318
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42536) - you deserved it (5853)

On 10/02/2013 at 2:36am - animals - by BasketGhost - United States (New York)

Today, I went with my boyfriend to his church youth group for the first time. I found out a girl there likes him, when she decided to pull me off him while we were hugging, and take my place. FML

#20903481
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43616) - you deserved it (2927)

On 10/01/2013 at 4:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was uninvited to a bachelorette party. I wouldn't really care, if the party hadn't been for me, ahead of my wedding tomorrow. FML

#20885218
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44451) - you deserved it (3485)

On 09/17/2013 at 1:52pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was playing World of Warcraft, when all of a sudden, I remembered I was supposed to be at a wedding. I was 25 minutes late to my own wedding. FML

#20880446
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22222) - you deserved it (89376)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: