Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Online | Search for a member
About domking1315 : I died a little bit inside when I read these FML's in moderation:
"Today I was thinking that i have the desire to move to a tribe that has never made contact with civilization and have sex with one of the guys and have freaky sex with him and turn him out! And then he told all his friends that I'm the queen of sex and be tribe slut. What do you think?"
"Today I woke up to my penis chopped off and my girlfriend cooking it I'm broiled water... She's laughing at my pain while I'm sitting in the hospital trying to cut off her vagina!"
"Today I fucked a dog I'm not proud of it but it happens."
"Today I was jerkin' it in the shower. just as I reached climax my baby sister walked in. being two years old, she opened the curtain and I trurned around amd ended up cumming on her face. then she screamed and my dad walked in."
"Today I farted and my ex boyfriends cum shot out at my wife."
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Today, after swimming in the pool, I went into the shower. Little did I know that my niece was hiding in there. She excitedly yelled "I saw your boobs!" Now my nephew won't stop crying because he didn't get to see them as well. FML
Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML
Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He dropped it and it spilled. I was really embarrassed. Then he decided to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stared at me accusingly. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML
Today, I did a photoshoot with my boyfriend and his buddy. We drove out to the countryside and set up on top of a hill. My boyfriend kept having me move further and further back. I eventually fell and rolled down the steep hill, while he and his buddy high-fived each other. FML
Today, my sister backed out of my wedding because it was becoming too much about me. After I begged her to reconsider, I had no choice but to pick a new bridesmaid. When my new bridesmaid posted on Facebook how excited she was, my sister commented, "See, you made HER feel special." FML
Today, I asked this really cute girl for her number. I had nothing else on me so I told her to write it on a dollar bill. Later, without thinking, I put it in a vending machine. I freaked out and frantically pushed the return button. It gave me back quarters. FML
Today, I knocked over a display case at a mall, shattering hundreds of dollars in goods. Embarrassed, I tried to scurry out of the nearest door without being seen. I scuttled right into the janitor's closet, the door automatically locking behind me. I waited for an hour to be let out. FML
Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML
Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML
Friday 19 September 2014