Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

domking1315

Online | Search for a member

domking1315

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3116
  • Number of comments : 360
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About domking1315 : I died a little bit inside when I read these FML's in moderation:

"Today I was thinking that i have the desire to move to a tribe that has never made contact with civilization and have sex with one of the guys and have freaky sex with him and turn him out! And then he told all his friends that I'm the queen of sex and be tribe slut. What do you think?"

"Today I woke up to my penis chopped off and my girlfriend cooking it I'm broiled water... She's laughing at my pain while I'm sitting in the hospital trying to cut off her vagina!"

"Today I fucked a dog I'm not proud of it but it happens."

"Today I was jerkin' it in the shower. just as I reached climax my baby sister walked in. being two years old, she opened the curtain and I trurned around amd ended up cumming on her face. then she screamed and my dad walked in."

"Today I farted and my ex boyfriends cum shot out at my wife."

domking1315's page activity

Visits<b>shiny_shipper</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 12:27pm<b>RageWolf16</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 11:33am<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 11:11pm<b>Kbuk13jfkdm</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 10:41pm<b>darkparadox</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 4:06am<b>Queen_bee1234</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 2:05pm<b>Connerm</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 10:36am<b>MrBuffalo</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 10:35am<b>jbond97</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 7:22am<b>FrenchieJoking</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 6:54am<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 6:42am<b>Domdom96</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 3:05am<b>Tbear11</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 12:59am<b>dzhonatan</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 12:00am<b>Neylin</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 7:40am<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 2:51pm<b>3051628</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 10:17am<b>coolster5000</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 1:54pm

domking1315's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of domking1315's badges

domking1315's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband left his cell phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being a very curious person, I decided to call "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML

#6192797
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36356) - you deserved it (15130)

On 11/07/2009 at 5:22am - misc - by badwife (woman) - Japan

Today, my three-year-old decided to dump the entire contents of her cereal box onto the kitchen floor because she was looking for a "prize." The only prize we found was a huge dead cockroach, which she promptly stuck in her mouth. FML

#6013490
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32197) - you deserved it (3290)

On 10/26/2009 at 8:42pm - kids - by laxie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my girlfriend of eight months that if she didn't start taking my band's music seriously, we couldn't see each other anymore. She said fine, and I hugged her, but then she stood up and said 'I hope we can still be friends,' and walked out the door. FML

#5909113
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8920) - you deserved it (64628)

On 10/20/2009 at 2:51am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was informed by my manager at work that there had been an 'accident' in the playground. I then had to crawl through tunnels designed for 5 year olds, to a tiny playroom with no fresh air, and clean up a stupid kid's pee and crap. FML

#5889597
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32061) - you deserved it (2911)

On 10/19/2009 at 12:10am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that if you let your son install a new shower head, he won't tighten it properly. So when you turn the shower on, it will shoot out at rocket speed, hitting you in the face. Then when you grab the shower handle to prevent yourself falling backwards, you will just rip that out and hit your head again. FML

#5858229
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31493) - you deserved it (4672)

On 10/16/2009 at 10:38pm - misc - by Ndanick1193 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, completely excited, I told my mom about this guy from high school, that I had really liked and who had found me on Facebook. He said he regretted not asking me out in high school and offered to fly me out to visit him. Her response? "Has he seen what you look like now?" FML

#5706276
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37077) - you deserved it (3870)

On 10/07/2009 at 5:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML

#5701860
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (164865) - you deserved it (8193)

On 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by dinosaurman (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48441) - you deserved it (3926)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a stop light and a bee landed on my leg. I screamed and started swatting it. It flew into my jacket and I started to strip my jacket off, taking my foot off the brake. I hit the car in front of me and deployed the air bag, breaking my nose. Then the bee stung me in the back. FML

#5653425
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34257) - you deserved it (13295)

On 10/04/2009 at 11:07pm - misc - by Anstice (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was home alone, and decided to do some naked cleaning just because I could. After half an hour of liberating nakie-dusting, I turn around to see my boyfriend and his best friend gaping at me open mouthed. His older brother however gave a creepy smile and the thumbs up. FML

#5424081
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14898) - you deserved it (39913)

On 09/23/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by DusterOverBits (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I bought the girl I like a bouquet of roses saying "anonymous" on it, and left it on her front porch. She saw it, and called the guy she thought it was from. He said "you're welcome" and now they're going out. FML

#5385782
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23337) - you deserved it (40259)

On 09/21/2009 at 12:02am - love - by anonymouss (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was waiting for a delivery between 9am-8pm. At 7:30 pm, I finally decided to have a 3 minute (desperately needed) shower. During which time the delivery man came. I ran down the street in a towel that barely covered me. He was driving away looking at me in the mirror laughing. FML

Today, I saw a weight loss 'before and after' advertisement and I wished I could at least look like the 'before'. FML

#5301983
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33747) - you deserved it (21863)

On 09/16/2009 at 9:43pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML

#4983449
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9151) - you deserved it (36670)

On 09/01/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by mrboston (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got written up at work for making a customer feel bad. I made him feel bad by laughing uncontrollably at him when he asked if we sold real light sabers. FML

#4945684
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45556) - you deserved it (13787)

On 08/31/2009 at 1:18am - work - by Timmah (man) - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: