Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

domking1315

Offline (the 02/24/2015 at 6:54pm) | Search for a member

domking1315

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4497
  • Number of comments : 366
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About domking1315 : I died a little bit inside when I read these FML's in moderation:

"Today I was thinking that i have the desire to move to a tribe that has never made contact with civilization and have sex with one of the guys and have freaky sex with him and turn him out! And then he told all his friends that I'm the queen of sex and be tribe slut. What do you think?"

"Today I woke up to my penis chopped off and my girlfriend cooking it I'm broiled water... She's laughing at my pain while I'm sitting in the hospital trying to cut off her vagina!"

"Today I fucked a dog I'm not proud of it but it happens."

"Today I was jerkin' it in the shower. just as I reached climax my baby sister walked in. being two years old, she opened the curtain and I trurned around amd ended up cumming on her face. then she screamed and my dad walked in."

"Today I farted and my ex boyfriends cum shot out at my wife."

domking1315's page activity

Visits<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 5:14pm<b>codyflanders2008</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 9:54pm<b>zane20062</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 4:32am<b>FordTough</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 9:43pm<b>Just_A_Tree</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 4:09pm<b>Duckzy</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 2:08pm<b>YAAAAAAYYYYYY</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 2:56am<b>Noah197099</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 10:18pm<b>heroforhirex95</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 2:08am<b>Majrdestroy</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 5:13pm<b>xluciferx666</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 9:15am<b>chuckster2005</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 10:56pm<b>maddygymnast</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 10:09pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 2:53pm<b>alice_18</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 12:37pm<b>shiny_shipper</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 12:27pm<b>RageWolf16</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 11:33am<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 11:11pm

Liked!<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 4:05pm

domking1315's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of domking1315's badges

domking1315's favorite FMLs

Today, away at college, I called my grandmother to hear how she was doing after her knee surgery. She ended up talking about Hooters and how I should work there because of my "rare body". When I mentioned I've been studying computer science, earning a 3.8 GPA, she replied, "But you're a girl." FML

#21361518
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32158) - you deserved it (2820)

On 02/23/2015 at 2:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I hit my head on the steering wheel when I sneezed. I managed to honk the horn and the guy next to me couldn't stop laughing. FML

#21361311
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29897) - you deserved it (4373)

On 02/22/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by headache - United States

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

#21361122
451 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41422) - you deserved it (3882)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, apparently when you tell a hairdresser "A little off the sides." they hear "A bowl cut, please, and make it look extra stupid." FML

#21354162
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31156) - you deserved it (3065)

On 02/11/2015 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, my boss informed me I couldn't go on my "vacation" because he's leaving for one of his employees' weddings. That just so happens to be my wedding, for which I'm taking the vacation. FML

Today, I got married. My grandpa took me aside afterwards and said that the moment the ceremony was over, he heard my wife's vagina slam shut. "Welcome to marriage, sucker," he chuckled, "It's just you and Rosy Palm now!" FML

#21347104
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26931) - you deserved it (2593)

On 01/31/2015 at 12:38am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML

#21346857
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33895) - you deserved it (3155)

On 01/30/2015 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my young daughter came up to me, grabbed my face and said, "I'm putting you in the garbage." When I laughed and asked why, she looked me dead in the eye and said, "You are trash." FML

#21346789
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29234) - you deserved it (3322)

On 01/30/2015 at 12:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I got attacked by a monkey. My country isn't even supposed to have monkeys in it. FML

#21346049
94 comments

Today, while trying to take a crap, I shut the bathroom door. A minute later, my 3 year old daughter knocked and said "Mommy, do you wanna build a snowman?" She kept singing the song until I was finally done. FML

#21341221
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30329) - you deserved it (4248)

On 01/20/2015 at 9:05pm - kids - by frozenpoo - United States

Today, I had to negotiate with my husband so he would bring me toilet paper while I was on the john. His terms? A blowjob. FML

#21334864
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30475) - you deserved it (6383)

On 01/11/2015 at 12:56am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, one of my friends posted on Facebook saying if you're held up at an ATM, putting your PIN in backwards will alert the cops. I pointed out it's an urban legend, and asked how it'd work if their PIN was the same backwards. He drove over and beat the crap out of me. FML

#21332664
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34447) - you deserved it (5130)

On 01/07/2015 at 12:07pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I went to gather the laundry out of the dryer. My daughter had seen my wife put bleach in the washer, so she decided that honey in the dryer would make the clothes smell sweet. She wasn't wrong, but now I have a giant ball of sticky socks and underwear. FML

#21331413
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25559) - you deserved it (2217)

On 01/05/2015 at 4:26pm - kids - by Synonymous_Rex - United States (California)

Today, a friend invited me to christmas dinner since I have no family close by. When I got there she told me her and her husband forgot they had another dinner to go to and asked if I would watch their kids for them. They each grabbed a handful of cookies I had baked and rushed out the door. FML

#21324456
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34827) - you deserved it (2557)

On 12/26/2014 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, the kid who who lives next door and shares a bedroom wall with me got a drum set for Christmas. FML

#21323929
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31079) - you deserved it (2356)

On 12/25/2014 at 11:36am - kids - by BowTiesAr3Cool - United States (Texas)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: