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dmorrte's favorite FMLs
Today, I e-mailed the on-line instructor for my job, telling her that I had fallen behind in my work due to my grandmother's passing and the subsequent funeral arrangements, but that I would catch up this week. Her reply? "OK. Hope your grandmother gets better soon." FML
by projectfain / 05/22/2013 at 8:28am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/18/2013 at 3:27pm / Mexico (Guanajuato) / Work
Today, I spent hours debating with a lady who claimed she'd spent years "studying the big bang theory". Not only did she not know the scientific meaning of the word "theory", her killer argument was "If the big bang happened, where are the fossils?" I'm not sure whether or not I just got trolled. FML
by look at the fucking universe, lady / 05/18/2013 at 2:44pm / United States (Alabama) / Geek
by Sarsippius / 05/18/2013 at 1:22am / Love
by lamsolonely / 05/12/2013 at 12:35am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Baikal / 05/12/2013 at 12:09am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend woke me up the same way he always does, by pulling on my hair. Just to be playful, I pulled him down on top of me and kissed him. Turns out his brother thought it would be funny to wake people up the same way. FML
by wrongguy / 05/11/2013 at 7:04pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by What the fuck, son? / 05/11/2013 at 12:21pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Kids
by stephscort / 05/11/2013 at 9:32am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/06/2013 at 4:35am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
by SkeetinKeaton / 05/06/2013 at 2:29am / United States / Kids
Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML
by wtfmama / 05/04/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/03/2013 at 11:00am / United States / Work
by future brain bleach addict / 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML
by Anonymous / 03/28/2013 at 4:56pm / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Work
- Today, i bought two $2 scratch off lotto tickets for my friend and i, he won $500 i won nothing. FML Today, half of my class tried to convince me that computers are sentient. I pointed out Alan Turing… Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask the girl I like out. Turns out she just decided she was a…