dm_carcrash

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dm_carcrash

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 580
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About dm_carcrash : I am 16.
I am in full time education.
I am cynical.
I am friendly.

dm_carcrash's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

dm_carcrash's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting beside this cute guy on a bench. Suddenly, he goes, "I know we don't know each other very well, but would you like to have dinner on Saturday?" I turn to him with a goofy smile, and exclaim "I'D LOVE TO!" He gives me a weird look, turns his head and points to his Bluetooth. FML

by asdfasdf / 03/03/2009 at 10:38am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML

by PicturePerfect / 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and says "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML

by ak / 03/02/2009 at 4:26pm / United States (Alaska) / Love

Today, I slept over at a friend's house. We decided to dress up as ninjas and play a trick on her younger brothers, sleeping in the basement. While sneaking down the stairs, in the dark, her mother came home. Thinking I was a robber, she beat me with a lamp. FML

by RosaP / 02/28/2009 at 1:40am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking through the mall with my boyfriend of a year and a half. There was sign outside of the jewelry store that said, "Engagement Rings-No interest for 12 months." I said, "Look, baby! No interest." He replied, "That's right...NO INTEREST." FML

by Ma.Sa.La. / 02/27/2009 at 10:18am / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and about 30 seconds in he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek and leaves. Turns out he already came. I call his phone - wrong number. FML

by jsw029 / 02/25/2009 at 11:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, the guy I like told me in casual conversation that I shouldn't get mad at him if he makes out with other girls at the bar, he only does it when he's drunk, that he doesn't really like them. We've been sleeping together for a week now. He met me at the bar. FML

by seriously? / 02/25/2009 at 5:05pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I farted in my cubicle thinking no one would smell it. Two seconds later, everyone came to my cubicle to wish me a happy birthday. FML

by riappp / 02/25/2009 at 10:31am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, while working on a medical school application, I asked my mom what she thought my greatest challenge in life had been. She replied : "Trying to lose your virginity." FML

by Dr. Virgin / 02/24/2009 at 1:16pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my mum came home from a business trip. My four-year-old brother, who I'd been watching, told her I was "sexing" my boyfriend a lot after I put him to bed. After lots of arguing, she banned me from seeing him and took my car away. Only much later did I realize my brother meant "texting". FML

by Megan / 02/23/2009 at 11:47am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend masturbating so I said to her, "Need a hand with that?" to which she replied "I'm doing fine here on my own, don't ruin it." FML

by Anonn / 02/23/2009 at 8:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I was doing a strip tease for my husband. He asked me to stop. FML

by Noname / 02/20/2009 at 12:06am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with a girl I really like for the first time. After a while I told her I was about to come. Her response: "Lucky you." FML

by sadguy / 02/18/2009 at 5:07pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my group of friends, my girlfriend, and I were playing 'never have I ever.' My girlfriend's turn came up and she went with, 'Never have I ever had an orgasm.' FML

by skeletor / 02/17/2009 at 10:22pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

by lunarboy / 02/16/2009 at 7:24pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous