djskype

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djskype

0Fucked!

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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4561
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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djskype's page activity

Visits<b>possesed0ne</b> - the 09/26/2009 at 8:54pm<b>username666</b> - the 04/25/2009 at 10:02pm

djskype's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

djskype's favorite FMLs

Today, I told the man I love to "go first" when we started talking at the same time. I wanted to confess my feelings, he wanted to tell me about his engagement. FML

by biblio / 01/17/2009 at 9:55pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I posted a question on a forum asking if my week old nipple piercing would get hooked on anything easily. People assured me that it would be fine. An hour later I had to climb over a wall to get something and in lowering myself down I forgot about it and dragged my nipple along the wall. FML

by jdot747 / 01/17/2009 at 8:48pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Miscellaneous

Today, the guy I've had a crush on for a while called me and asked me over. I took a cab to his place and when I got there he was dressed in leather and wore a mask... It took me a 20 dollar cab fare to realize my crush is a freak. FML

by Allenburg / 01/17/2009 at 8:38pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my mother asked a woman at the clothing store we go to all the time when her baby was due. Turns out the woman isn't pregnant. FML

by BobbyMalone / 01/17/2009 at 9:11am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I went to an underwear shop, and an employee recommended me a push-up bra. I was wearing one. FML

by Pakundo / 01/17/2009 at 6:31am / Miscellaneous

Today, I was late for work and took a taxi. The driver tells me he tried to commit suicide recently. I listen to him for 20mins, sat outside my workplace with the meter off. He charges me £5.80 and my boss gives me a warning for being late. FML

by hapless / 01/16/2009 at 2:27am / United Kingdom (London) / Work

Today, I reached for my beer and took a huge swallow before I realized that I had picked up my friend's tobacco spit cup. "Vomit" is not a strong enough word to describe what happened next. FML

by blegh / 01/15/2009 at 11:57pm / Switzerland (Ticino) / Miscellaneous

Today, I daringly tried that fish-bath thing, where all these fish come and eat all of your skin's dead cells. I got into it, and after 15 minutes of being a human buffet, at least 20 of the fish died. FML

by anx133 / 01/15/2009 at 8:25pm / China (Shanghai) / Health

Today, I was hanging out with a couple of friends and one of them tells a funny story about how he filled a condom with syrup and put it in his friend's mouth while he was asleep. Me with my big mouth starts to say, "Condoms taste na--" and stopped myself as everyone started laughing at me. FML

by jen / 01/15/2009 at 7:39pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found my car completely vandalized when I came home from work. A paper on the seat read "That's for what you did to Hannah you fuck". Hannah? FML

by Camm. / 01/15/2009 at 6:32pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I realized I spend way too much time on the computer. I grabbed the menu at the restaurant, glanced at the page, and tried to do CTRL+F to find seafood. Geek coming through! FML

by Hth / 01/15/2009 at 6:14am / United States (Delaware) / Love

Today, a co-worker asked me if I had a comb he could borrow. I'm bald. FML

by poisonhand / 01/14/2009 at 10:32am / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my mom asked all the old ladies in her church to pray that I meet "someone special". FML

by beekie9 / 01/14/2009 at 9:26am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was having a cybersex chat with a "girl" on a website whilst at work. I noticed my colleague who sits next to me start cracking up with laughter. Turned out it was him I was chatting with and he was winding me up. Worst thing is it had given me a stiffy. FML

by diddlysquat / 01/14/2009 at 3:49am / United Kingdom (Wakefield) / Intimacy

Today, I threw a rock in the air and watched it soar. And watched it come back down and hit me in the face. Gravity. FML

by Gale / 01/13/2009 at 10:01am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous