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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, just another casual morning. I went to go drop a deuce in the bathroom. Barely being awake I didn't notice my roommates had put glad wrap between the seat and toilet, so i got piss and shit all over me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12455) - you deserved it (3080)
On 01/23/2009 at 5:45am - misc - by ohn0es - United States (Kansas)
Today, I made fun of my friend when she tripped over the curb. I said, loudly, "Haha, you can't even walk." I then notice the man in the wheelchair a few feet ahead of us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5117) - you deserved it (17366)
On 01/22/2009 at 6:22pm - misc - by william - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was woken out of my drunken state by a guy trying to stick his penis in my mouth. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23248) - you deserved it (4246)
On 01/22/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I moved back home because I got laid off and could no longer afford my apartment. I decided to take a nap and when I woke up I overheard my Mom telling my Aunt that she used to be so proud of me and wonders when I became such a loser. Burn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15530) - you deserved it (1604)
On 01/22/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by TotallyFkd - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was sitting on the couch, computer next to me, lotion on the floor, and my dick in my hand when my roommate walked in on me. Scared and looking me right in the face he says "What's for dinner?". FML
I agree, your life sucks (4366) - you deserved it (15043)
On 01/22/2009 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I told my mom I want to get liposuction. She said "Whats the point? Its not like you can get lipo on your face!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14577) - you deserved it (2343)
On 01/22/2009 at 10:22am - health - by radiant - United States (Michigan)
Today, I work for a boss who does everything he can to singlehandedly ruin our company and drive us into the ground. I just got an e-mail from him saying I need to be a more positive and energetic role-model for our team. Pot… meet Kettle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10397) - you deserved it (1456)
On 01/22/2009 at 7:45am - work - by DarkPain - United States (California)
Today, I sliced my arm open on the weekend, patched it with a fabric bandaid. Had an allergic reaction to the bandaid, arm now swollen, blistering and keeping-me-awake itchy. Pharmacist's advice? "Oooh, that looks bad. Better put a bandaid on that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17415) - you deserved it (1241)
On 01/20/2009 at 8:08pm - health - by sore - Australia (Queensland)
Today, in the forest, I hit my foot against a half-buried metal thing. I dug into the ground, and found a beautiful box, heavy enough to not be empty. I imagined myself with gold coins. Inside was the corpse of a cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17802) - you deserved it (3969)
On 01/20/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by mainche - Sent from mobile version
Today, I had a dream that I was 25, unemployed, living with my parents, and still completely in love with someone who no longer feels the same way about me. Oh wait... it wasn't a dream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14959) - you deserved it (3728)
On 01/19/2009 at 11:23pm - misc - by HeadTrauma - United States (West Virginia)
Today, my boyfriend took me out to a nice seafood dinner where we had some great crab legs. Later tonight we drove down to the beach and started messing around. He started touching me... with his hands still covered in salty crab juice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25174) - you deserved it (4964)
On 01/19/2009 at 10:55pm - intimacy - by rindawg - United States (California)
Today, I was jerking one off and my cat jumped out of nowhere and dug his claws into my shaft. Attempting to knock him away resulted in three nasty gashes... that I now have to explain to my wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26382) - you deserved it (6885)
On 01/19/2009 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by stanDman - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom tried to bribe him with an iPhone to dump me. He accepted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23227) - you deserved it (1252)
On 01/19/2009 at 6:12am - love - by f'ed_over - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I tried viagra for the first time. That was at noon, I still have an erection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10133) - you deserved it (32493)
On 01/18/2009 at 6:43pm - intimacy - by boner_dude - United States (California)
Today, I decided to jack it a few times because I haven't been laid in a while. After round 3 my ex called me up and said she wanted to 'talk.' When she came over she made it abundantly clear that she wanted to make whoopie. Couldn't get it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14813) - you deserved it (27027)
On 01/18/2009 at 11:30am - intimacy - by f__k_it - United States (Oregon)
Friday 24 May 2013
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