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djskype
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  • Number of visits : 3215
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, just another casual morning. I went to go drop a deuce in the bathroom. Barely being awake I didn't notice my roommates had put glad wrap between the seat and toilet, so i got piss and shit all over me. FML

#2285
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16645) - you deserved it (4138)

On 01/23/2009 at 5:45am - misc - by ohn0es - United States (Kansas)

Today, I made fun of my friend when she tripped over the curb. I said, loudly, "Haha, you can't even walk." I then notice the man in the wheelchair a few feet ahead of us. FML

#2244
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6028) - you deserved it (22515)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:22pm - misc - by william - United States (Arizona)

Today, I moved back home because I got laid off and could no longer afford my apartment. I decided to take a nap and when I woke up I overheard my Mom telling my Aunt that she used to be so proud of me and wonders when I became such a loser. Burn. FML

#2215
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19403) - you deserved it (2172)

On 01/22/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by TotallyFkd - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was sitting on the couch, computer next to me, lotion on the floor, and my dick in my hand when my roommate walked in on me. Scared and looking me right in the face he says "What's for dinner?". FML

#2177
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5596) - you deserved it (20990)

On 01/22/2009 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I told my mom I want to get liposuction. She said "Whats the point? Its not like you can get lipo on your face!". FML

#2174
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15105) - you deserved it (2406)

On 01/22/2009 at 10:22am - health - by radiant - United States (Michigan)

Today, I work for a boss who does everything he can to singlehandedly ruin our company and drive us into the ground. I just got an e-mail from him saying I need to be a more positive and energetic role-model for our team. Pot… meet Kettle. FML

#2158
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13049) - you deserved it (1685)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:45am - work - by DarkPain - United States (California)

Today, I sliced my arm open on the weekend, patched it with a fabric bandaid. Had an allergic reaction to the bandaid, arm now swollen, blistering and keeping-me-awake itchy. Pharmacist's advice? "Oooh, that looks bad. Better put a bandaid on that." FML

#1959
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21839) - you deserved it (1777)

On 01/20/2009 at 8:08pm - health - by sore - Australia (Queensland)

Today, in the forest, I hit my foot against a half-buried metal thing. I dug into the ground, and found a beautiful box, heavy enough to not be empty. I imagined myself with gold coins. Inside was the corpse of a cat. FML

#1817
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21166) - you deserved it (5041)

On 01/20/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by mainche - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had a dream that I was 25, unemployed, living with my parents, and still completely in love with someone who no longer feels the same way about me. Oh wait... it wasn't a dream. FML

#1809
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15629) - you deserved it (3827)

On 01/19/2009 at 11:23pm - misc - by HeadTrauma - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend took me out to a nice seafood dinner where we had some great crab legs. Later tonight we drove down to the beach and started messing around. He started touching me... with his hands still covered in salty crab juice. FML

#1806
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28156) - you deserved it (5760)

On 01/19/2009 at 10:55pm - intimacy - by rindawg - United States (California)

Today, I was jerking one off and my cat jumped out of nowhere and dug his claws into my shaft. Attempting to knock him away resulted in three nasty gashes... that I now have to explain to my wife. FML

#1752
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30845) - you deserved it (8578)

On 01/19/2009 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by stanDman - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom tried to bribe him with an iPhone to dump me. He accepted. FML

#1705
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28462) - you deserved it (1821)

On 01/19/2009 at 6:12am - love - by f'ed_over - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I decided to jack it a few times because I haven't been laid in a while. After round 3 my ex called me up and said she wanted to 'talk.' When she came over she made it abundantly clear that she wanted to make whoopie. Couldn't get it up. FML

#1585
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16218) - you deserved it (32471)

On 01/18/2009 at 11:30am - intimacy - by f__k_it - United States (Oregon)

Today, I told my 10 year old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML

#1565
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19303) - you deserved it (2949)

On 01/18/2009 at 9:30am - kids - by NVP - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was gay and that he is in love with my younger brother. FML

#1554
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40327) - you deserved it (2255)

On 01/18/2009 at 7:41am - love - by Wenny - United States (Connecticut)



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