djskype

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djskype

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 4990
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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djskype's page activity

Visits<b>possesed0ne</b> - the 09/26/2009 at 8:54pm<b>username666</b> - the 04/25/2009 at 10:02pm

djskype's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

djskype's favorite FMLs

Today, just another casual morning. I went to go drop a deuce in the bathroom. Barely being awake I didn't notice my roommates had put glad wrap between the seat and toilet, so i got piss and shit all over me. FML

by ohn0es / 01/23/2009 at 5:45am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I made fun of my friend when she tripped over the curb. I said, loudly, "Haha, you can't even walk." I then notice the man in the wheelchair a few feet ahead of us. FML

by william / 01/22/2009 at 6:22pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I moved back home because I got laid off and could no longer afford my apartment. I decided to take a nap and when I woke up I overheard my Mom telling my Aunt that she used to be so proud of me and wonders when I became such a loser. Burn. FML

by TotallyFkd / 01/22/2009 at 3:49pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting on the couch, computer next to me, lotion on the floor, and my dick in my hand when my roommate walked in on me. Scared and looking me right in the face he says "What's for dinner?". FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2009 at 11:09am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I told my mom I want to get liposuction. She said "Whats the point? Its not like you can get lipo on your face!". FML

by radiant / 01/22/2009 at 10:22am / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I work for a boss who does everything he can to singlehandedly ruin our company and drive us into the ground. I just got an e-mail from him saying I need to be a more positive and energetic role-model for our team. Pot… meet Kettle. FML

by DarkPain / 01/22/2009 at 7:45am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I sliced my arm open on the weekend, patched it with a fabric bandaid. Had an allergic reaction to the bandaid, arm now swollen, blistering and keeping-me-awake itchy. Pharmacist's advice? "Oooh, that looks bad. Better put a bandaid on that." FML

by sore / 01/20/2009 at 8:08pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, in the forest, I hit my foot against a half-buried metal thing. I dug into the ground, and found a beautiful box, heavy enough to not be empty. I imagined myself with gold coins. Inside was the corpse of a cat. FML

by mainche / 01/20/2009 at 2:13am / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a dream that I was 25, unemployed, living with my parents, and still completely in love with someone who no longer feels the same way about me. Oh wait... it wasn't a dream. FML

by HeadTrauma / 01/19/2009 at 11:23pm / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend took me out to a nice seafood dinner where we had some great crab legs. Later tonight we drove down to the beach and started messing around. He started touching me... with his hands still covered in salty crab juice. FML

by rindawg / 01/19/2009 at 10:55pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was jerking one off and my cat jumped out of nowhere and dug his claws into my shaft. Attempting to knock him away resulted in three nasty gashes... that I now have to explain to my wife. FML

by stanDman / 01/19/2009 at 1:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom tried to bribe him with an iPhone to dump me. He accepted. FML

by f'ed_over / 01/19/2009 at 6:12am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I decided to jack it a few times because I haven't been laid in a while. After round 3 my ex called me up and said she wanted to 'talk.' When she came over she made it abundantly clear that she wanted to make whoopie. Couldn't get it up. FML

by f__k_it / 01/18/2009 at 11:30am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I told my 10 year old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML

by NVP / 01/18/2009 at 9:30am / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was gay and that he is in love with my younger brother. FML

by Wenny / 01/18/2009 at 7:41am / United States (Connecticut) / Love