djskype

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djskype

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 4754
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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djskype's page activity

Visits<b>possesed0ne</b> - the 09/26/2009 at 8:54pm<b>username666</b> - the 04/25/2009 at 10:02pm

djskype's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

djskype's favorite FMLs

Today, I hid my credit card from myself so I wouldn't use it. Now I can't find it. FML

by dannij08 / 01/27/2009 at 11:47am / United States (California) / Money

Today, I finally broke my two year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML

by theguy24 / 01/27/2009 at 7:47am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy

Today, three girls introduced themselves to me. I had met all of them before. FML

by aere / 01/27/2009 at 7:24am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was at the gym and as I was pulling out my earphones and getting off my treadmill, I heard the girl behind me say to her friend on the treadmill next to her, "Wow, there have no cute guys today." Her friend replied, "None at all. It's like everyone suddenly got gay or ugly." FML

by Rothaar / 01/26/2009 at 5:19pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

by Boredom / 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I bought a mini tracking device to attach to my wallet to keep me from losing it. Unfortunately, before I could put batteries in the tracking device, I lost it. FML

by Jacobro / 01/26/2009 at 2:08pm / United States (Connecticut) / Geek

Today, I saw a homeless man asking for money for food. Not wanting to give him money so he'd spend it on booze, I decided to buy him a full big mac meal from McDonalds. When I went to hand it to him, he quickly waved his hand, denying it saying, "Thanks but I'm a vegetarian". FML

by Michelle C / 01/25/2009 at 10:44pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to my mom about my younger brother getting his girlfriend pregnant. She asked me how old I was when I first had sex. I'm a 21 year old virgin. FML

by aces10 / 01/25/2009 at 8:52am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend asked me to set up his new Mac and transfer all the pictures from his old notebook. Seems like he forgot that when he went on vacation 2 months ago he took pictures of him getting it on with another guy. We've been together for 3 years and just moved in together. FML

by theamericandream / 01/25/2009 at 8:07am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I finally finished my 500 page manuscript and so went out to buy some paper to print it off. I get back home and find out my dad has infected my computer with a virus and the only way to save it was to wipe the hard drive, which he did. That script took me a year and I have no backup. FML

by David3000 / 01/24/2009 at 2:15am / Australia (New South Wales) / Geek

Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML

by killmyself / 01/23/2009 at 2:50pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, at lunch, I told a bunch of people how I had been in love with this guy since freshman year. I made a bunch of jokes about how I was going to marry him and our kids would be so attractive. He was at the table next to mine and looked back at me as soon as I finished. FML

by Noname / 01/23/2009 at 12:31pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I finally went on a date with the girl I'm in love with. After dinner we went to the bar for drinks and things were going great. Right up until she went home with another guy. FML

by Jebus / 01/23/2009 at 8:31am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I went to the movies with a friend and her grandma. Her grandma was using toothpicks and dropping them on the ground next to our popcorn bucket. I took a big handful of popcorn, and was fortunate enough to get a piece of her toothpick lodged in my throat. FML

by Spanky / 01/23/2009 at 6:36am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried jumping off my bed over the footboard. I tripped and broke a full length mirror with my face. FML

by Malpal / 01/23/2009 at 6:03am / United States (Michigan) / Love