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djskype

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djskype

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  • Number of visits : 3711
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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djskype's page activity

Visits<b>possesed0ne</b> - the 09/26/2009 at 8:54pm<b>username666</b> - the 04/25/2009 at 10:02pm

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djskype's favorite FMLs

Today, I hid my credit card from myself so I wouldn't use it. Now I can't find it. FML

#2823
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7022) - you deserved it (42626)

On 01/27/2009 at 11:47am - money - by dannij08 - United States (California)

Today, I finally broke my two year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML

#2792
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39142) - you deserved it (7871)

On 01/27/2009 at 7:47am - intimacy - by theguy24 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, three girls introduced themselves to me. I had met all of them before. FML

#2788
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25035) - you deserved it (2307)

On 01/27/2009 at 7:24am - love - by aere - United States (California)

Today, I was at the gym and as I was pulling out my earphones and getting off my treadmill, I heard the girl behind me say to her friend on the treadmill next to her, "Wow, there have no cute guys today." Her friend replied, "None at all. It's like everyone suddenly got gay or ugly." FML

#2709
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21132) - you deserved it (1841)

On 01/26/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by Rothaar - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

#2696
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15556) - you deserved it (67890)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States

Today, I bought a mini tracking device to attach to my wallet to keep me from losing it. Unfortunately, before I could put batteries in the tracking device, I lost it. FML

#2681
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15609) - you deserved it (7787)

On 01/26/2009 at 2:08pm - misc - by Jacobro - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I saw a homeless man asking for money for food. Not wanting to give him money so he'd spend it on booze, I decided to buy him a full big mac meal from McDonalds. When I went to hand it to him, he quickly waved his hand, denying it saying, "Thanks but I'm a vegetarian". FML

#2596
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22404) - you deserved it (4646)

On 01/25/2009 at 10:44pm - misc - by Michelle C - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my mom about my younger brother getting his girlfriend pregnant. She asked me how old I was when I first had sex. I'm a 21 year old virgin. FML

#2509
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37817) - you deserved it (4835)

On 01/25/2009 at 8:52am - intimacy - by aces10 - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to set up his new Mac and transfer all the pictures from his old notebook. Seems like he forgot that when he went on vacation 2 months ago he took pictures of him getting it on with another guy. We've been together for 3 years and just moved in together. FML

#2506
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34389) - you deserved it (2382)

On 01/25/2009 at 8:07am - love - by theamericandream - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally finished my 500 page manuscript and so went out to buy some paper to print it off. I get back home and find out my dad has infected my computer with a virus and the only way to save it was to wipe the hard drive, which he did. That script took me a year and I have no backup. FML

#2406
5 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35953) - you deserved it (23624)

On 01/24/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by David3000 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML

#2357
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14187) - you deserved it (40687)

On 01/23/2009 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by killmyself - United States (California)

Today, at lunch, I told a bunch of people how I had been in love with this guy since freshman year. I made a bunch of jokes about how I was going to marry him and our kids would be so attractive. He was at the table next to mine and looked back at me as soon as I finished. FML

#2341
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15060) - you deserved it (14420)

On 01/23/2009 at 12:31pm - love - by Noname - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally went on a date with the girl I'm in love with. After dinner we went to the bar for drinks and things were going great. Right up until she went home with another guy. FML

#2303
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22577) - you deserved it (1871)

On 01/23/2009 at 8:31am - love - by Jebus - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to the movies with a friend and her grandma. Her grandma was using toothpicks and dropping them on the ground next to our popcorn bucket. I took a big handful of popcorn, and was fortunate enough to get a piece of her toothpick lodged in my throat. FML

#2289
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19837) - you deserved it (1929)

On 01/23/2009 at 6:36am - misc - by Spanky - United States (Michigan)

Today, I tried jumping off my bed over the footboard. I tripped and broke a full length mirror with my face. FML

#2286
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8412) - you deserved it (24608)

On 01/23/2009 at 6:03am - love - by Malpal - United States (Michigan)



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