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djskype
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  • Number of visits : 3206
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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djskype's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me he watched True Life I'm Pregnant. Now I know why we haven't been having sex. FML

#3148
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18647) - you deserved it (2348)

On 01/28/2009 at 4:58pm - intimacy - by hgirl - United States (Maryland)

Today, I marked the 6th anniversary of the last time I had intercourse. FML

#3114
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32271) - you deserved it (4705)

On 01/28/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, walking to work in a snowstorm since I don't own a car, a man rolled down his window and screamed, "what are you doing you f***ing freak? you stupid b**ch!", while I waited for a green light to cross. FML

#3093
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20813) - you deserved it (1901)

On 01/28/2009 at 2:21pm - work - by likwidsol - United States (New York)

Today, I almost had an orgasm. Unfortunately, he had one first. FML

#3084
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46642) - you deserved it (6386)

On 01/28/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by karma - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my grandmother who has Alzheimer's and can't usually remember my name, had a sudden moment of clarity and asked me why I'm still not married yet. FML

#3070
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20769) - you deserved it (1478)

On 01/28/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by calikola - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went into my office and told my boss that I hated my job and was quitting on the spot. I tried to leave quickly but I slipped and fell on the marble floor right in front of everybody during my exit. FML

#3037
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12837) - you deserved it (3621)

On 01/28/2009 at 10:50am - work - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, on my 18th birthday, my mom told me the man I thought was my father for 18 years was actually not my father, and my real father was in prison for murder. FML

#3036
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43024) - you deserved it (1523)

On 01/28/2009 at 10:42am - misc - by kiddo - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in bed next to the boy I loved, he had just came and passed out immediately afterwards. I reached over to look at my phone but grabbed his instead and saw a text message from his ex-girlfriend that read "I love you too." FML

#3029
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40636) - you deserved it (2997)

On 01/28/2009 at 10:12am - intimacy - by splooge - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in bed next to the boy I loved, he had just came and passed out immediately afterwards. I reached over to look at my phone but grabbed his instead and saw a text message from his ex-girlfriend that read "I love you too." FML

#3029
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40636) - you deserved it (2997)

On 01/28/2009 at 10:12am - intimacy - by splooge - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up at 5:15, snow blowed and salted the driveway for over an hour, left early and drove an hour on shitty roads just to get to work on time only to be laid off. FML

#2983
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26748) - you deserved it (925)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:13am - work - by Noname - United States (Missouri)

Today, I gathered the courage to participate in a class discussion. My professor laughed at me. FML

#2972
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22387) - you deserved it (2052)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:03am - misc - by Noname - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to buy some Ibuprofen and got asked for ID. You have to be over 16 to buy it. I'm 25. FML

#2946
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17052) - you deserved it (2070)

On 01/28/2009 at 12:21am - misc - by noneoftheabove - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

#2899
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27736) - you deserved it (8703)

On 01/27/2009 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by ottawaaa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found the family's pet hamster under my mattress, he's been missing for six months. FML

#2862
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24487) - you deserved it (2338)

On 01/27/2009 at 2:42pm - kids - by Noname - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I picked up my cat and it went wild because I didn't know he was sleeping. I ended with with several cuts, and one on my wrist. Later a kid in my high school saw my wrist and told my guidance counselor who told my parents. Now everyone thinks I'm either a liar, attention whore, or emo. FML

#2835
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20991) - you deserved it (2128)

On 01/27/2009 at 12:44pm - animals - by Anizzaf - United States (Massachusetts)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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