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dillonManning

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dillonManning

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 December 1996 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 168
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About dillonManning : Hey I like being politically incorrect and being racist so deal with it.
'Merica Bacon Guns and Cars n fuck grammar

dillonManning's page activity

Visits<b>melkymac101</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 8:45pm<b>WarDrifterz</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 12:08am<b>countryboy357</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 8:04am<b>SBXT</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 5:54pm<b>tbearlupin</b> - the 12/18/2011 at 8:14pm

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dillonManning's favorite FMLs

Today, I officially became a divorced marriage counselor. FML

#20877295
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44323) - you deserved it (7246)

On 09/11/2013 at 5:35pm - work - by natattack - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up with a vague memory of buying something last night while drunk. According to my credit card summary I made a $270 purchase from a home shopping channel. I guess in 5-7 days I'll find out what it was. FML

#20147165
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9031) - you deserved it (25592)

On 11/04/2012 at 11:37am - money - by fnfantastic - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend and I were preparing for the arrival of Hurricane Sandy. I tasked him with going out to buy emergency groceries in case we lose power. He returned with dozens of microwave cup noodles. We're going to starve. FML

#20137235
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23725) - you deserved it (3397)

On 10/28/2012 at 4:14pm - love - by cupnoodles (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10737) - you deserved it (36865)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

#19343662
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40203) - you deserved it (12387)

On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML

#19255616
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30836) - you deserved it (2921)

On 03/11/2012 at 3:36am - love - by Tristan Brantley - United States (California)

Today, I started at my new waitressing job. Our uniforms have the name of the restaurant on the left chest pocket. My first customer asked me what the other boob was called. FML

#18443540
98 comments

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

#17742835
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31704) - you deserved it (5190)

On 09/14/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by funnymanjoe - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to explain in great detail why it is inappropriate for my boyfriend to grab at my vagina in public. He did it again twenty minutes later. FML

#17677106
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32317) - you deserved it (6475)

On 09/06/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by foreseeingabreakup (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

#17496000
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27769) - you deserved it (3340)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was on a crowded el train listening to my iPod touch. As I stepped off the train, my headphones got caught on a man's jacket and my iPod fell on the floor. The doors shut. I then watched the train pull away. With my iPod on it. FML

#8726877
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28280) - you deserved it (3607)

On 02/28/2010 at 7:34pm - money - by rybread (man) - United States

Today, while waiting to do a presentation in class I felt someone flick my back, but when I turned around no one was there. It wasn't until I got up in front of the whole class that I felt my bra slowly sliding down my body. Turns out that the "flick" I felt was actually my bra clasp busting open. FML

#8632694
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24990) - you deserved it (2843)

On 02/25/2010 at 2:05am - misc - by thewordsicantsay (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I began my job volunteering at an orphanage in Beijing, China, working with 7-year-olds who just started learning english. We played a game where, if you got caught, you had to sing a song. I got caught, so I chose the ABCs. They all knew the song perfectly, I missed 3 letters. FML

#3549560
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8724) - you deserved it (71336)

On 07/07/2009 at 8:20am - misc - by BigBallah93 - China (Beijing)

Today, I came home and found out that my new roommate, who smokes half a pack of cigarettes a day and drinks heavily 5 nights a week, had smashed my $300 bong because "weed is a horrible and deadly drug that will kill you slowly." FML

Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving the Roast Duck I would be serving the Roast Fuck. FML

#2282414
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19699) - you deserved it (40568)

On 05/25/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by wordmalfunction (man) - United Kingdom (London)



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