dieselguy

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dieselguy

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 12 April 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 762
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dieselguy's page activity

Visits<b>evilscorpi</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 7:35pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 12:43am<b>nela25</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 8:15am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 5:00am<b>ahd94</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 1:38am<b>strawberrywine22</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 5:48am<b>steelers711</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 9:46pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 12:18am<b>heyyyjune</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 5:43am<b>aimee0027</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 2:40pm<b>Lindsey_Marie</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 2:53pm<b>jujuroxursox</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 12:26pm<b>berryblizzard</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 8:56am<b>lyssgross</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 2:29pm<b>miichiii</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 6:47am<b>xadoringx</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 8:40pm<b>loriprieto</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 5:25pm<b>jcurry25</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 9:41am

dieselguy's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of dieselguy's badges

dieselguy's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend let me be the first one to read the novel he dropped out of college to write. Turns out it's titled "A Brief History of Ass" and is an incoherent ramble about every time we've had anal sex. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2013 at 7:51pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, while driving in the car with my father, he handed me his iPhone and asked me to Google "Is ObamaCare good for our country?" As soon as I typed in "Is", the first result was "Is olive oil good for anal." FML

by justme / 11/02/2013 at 9:21am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my bathroom flooded. I frantically cleaned my apartment as fast as I could before the plumber arrived. Everything was finally clean when I let him in. It wasn't until after he finished that I noticed I'd left my anal beads in the shower. There's no way he didn't notice. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2013 at 2:41pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2013 at 2:56pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that what my husband meant by "we should try swinging" is "I really want to have sex with this one friend of yours, and if you so much as make eye contact with any guy I'm going to totally flip out and threaten to kill him and you." FML

by SwinginSolo / 03/26/2013 at 8:07am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

by valnaj1 / 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm / Denmark (Syddanmark) / Intimacy

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

by kalikanna / 07/07/2012 at 2:10am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to court expecting to walk out a free man. Turns out my misdemeanor offense couldn't compare to the crime I committed when I walked into the court house with a switchblade tucked into my shoe. FML

by Tom / 08/17/2011 at 2:27pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML

by Jackedup / 05/18/2011 at 3:57am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend told me to Google how to last longer in bed. FML

by anonymous / 11/16/2010 at 5:43pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex in a rarely used room at school. We got carried away and found ourselves locked in. We slept there overnight. We woke up when the cleaning lady found us the next morning and were greeted by worried parents and school staff. FML

by Eeeek / 08/26/2010 at 5:17pm / Bulgaria (Varna) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. The reason? She slept with four men while I was two weeks away visiting my brother. She told me it was because she missed me so much. FML

by CheatedOn / 02/14/2010 at 10:19am / Romania (Cluj) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2010 at 3:47am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have a little "fun" in our secluded backyard. It was only after we had finished that we noticed the three little girls, who live next door, jumping up and down on their trampoline, with their mouths wide open. FML

by Tattooed_Blonde / 01/20/2010 at 7:09am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.