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Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21101) - you deserved it (4353)
On 11/01/2012 at 3:54am - intimacy - by okay._. - United States (California)
Today, I got stopped by the fuzz. The officer told me he "could care less" about my excuses. He was probably about to let me go without a ticket, but my inner Grammar Nazi kicked in and I explained why he meant to say "couldn't care less." I got the ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5722) - you deserved it (34333)
On 09/17/2012 at 12:47am - misc - by GN (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I learned why the phrase "seafood taco salad" terrifies everyone in the school's cafeteria. What happened to me after eating it made Saw III look like a Disney movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14517) - you deserved it (2303)
On 03/26/2012 at 6:21pm - health - by Mandy - United States
I agree, your life sucks (6130) - you deserved it (16619)
On 03/11/2012 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was preparing dinner for my in-laws for the first time. Nervous, I accidentally spilled the pasta into the sink. With nothing else to prepare, I quickly scooped it all back out. No-one would have been any the wiser, if the kitchen sponge hadn't shown up in the middle of the meal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8204) - you deserved it (23848) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10511) - you deserved it (26983)
On 02/23/2012 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20321) - you deserved it (2131)
On 02/15/2012 at 12:50pm - health - by TerribleAddiction - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6293) - you deserved it (20383)
On 01/28/2012 at 6:31pm - misc - by GothicbunnyxC (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)
Today, I realized I have to choose between being unemployed or putting up with my perverted boss who desperately wants me. I'm a guy and so is he. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32196) - you deserved it (2320)
On 11/09/2011 at 12:20pm - work - by Anonymous - Romania (Mures)
Today, my girlfriend came to my house crying because the guy who she has been cheating on me with doesn't want to be with her anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46633) - you deserved it (2892)
On 11/05/2011 at 11:40am - love - by oink401 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14280) - you deserved it (40956) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France
Today, after a week of searching, I found my escaped snake. In my umbrella, outside, after opening it over my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19913) - you deserved it (6814)
On 10/11/2011 at 11:22am - misc - by lollymay13 (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, the ex who I'm still in love with told me he wishes we could be together, but that first I really need to get over the fact that he already has a wife and kids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22709) - you deserved it (5121)
On 10/08/2011 at 6:10pm - love - by EFFFF (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15581) - you deserved it (11409)
On 10/08/2011 at 4:40pm - health - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was emptying a bag of grass from my lawn mower when I saw pieces of what used to be a 50 dollar bill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24183) - you deserved it (4033)
On 09/02/2011 at 12:48am - money - by woodre - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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