Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

diceplaya

Offline (the 08/22/2014 at 7:27pm) | Search for a member

diceplaya

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 531
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About diceplaya : I do it big.

diceplaya's page activity

Visits<b>MittenzTheCat</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 9:07pm<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 12:27am<b>AustinTaylor06</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 7:55pm<b>BigBoyBounce</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 8:17pm<b>wolverine47</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 3:57pm<b>hilow212</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 2:59pm<b>KittyHawkMarch</b> - the 04/09/2012 at 3:46pm

diceplaya's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of diceplaya's badges

diceplaya's favorite FMLs

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML

#20142541
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30572) - you deserved it (6483)

On 11/01/2012 at 3:54am - intimacy - by okay._. - United States (California)

Today, I got stopped by the fuzz. The officer told me he "could care less" about my excuses. He was probably about to let me go without a ticket, but my inner Grammar Nazi kicked in and I explained why he meant to say "couldn't care less." I got the ticket. FML

#20075636
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7374) - you deserved it (40222)

On 09/17/2012 at 12:47am - misc - by GN (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I learned why the phrase "seafood taco salad" terrifies everyone in the school's cafeteria. What happened to me after eating it made Saw III look like a Disney movie. FML

#19352692
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19646) - you deserved it (3361)

On 03/26/2012 at 6:21pm - health - by Mandy - United States

Today, I watched Gigli. FML

#19259305
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7673) - you deserved it (24792)

On 03/11/2012 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was preparing dinner for my in-laws for the first time. Nervous, I accidentally spilled the pasta into the sink. With nothing else to prepare, I quickly scooped it all back out. No-one would have been any the wiser, if the kitchen sponge hadn't shown up in the middle of the meal. FML

#19147436
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10030) - you deserved it (34575) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/23/2012 at 5:01pm - misc - by Laviolette - France

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

#19146778
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13795) - you deserved it (32387)

On 02/23/2012 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML

#19085409
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25866) - you deserved it (2881)

On 02/15/2012 at 12:50pm - health - by TerribleAddiction - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML

#18936126
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7894) - you deserved it (30077)

On 01/28/2012 at 6:31pm - misc - by GothicbunnyxC (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, I realized I have to choose between being unemployed or putting up with my perverted boss who desperately wants me. I'm a guy and so is he. FML

#18201321
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38370) - you deserved it (3127)

On 11/09/2011 at 12:20pm - work - by Anonymous - Romania (Mures)

Today, my girlfriend came to my house crying because the guy who she has been cheating on me with doesn't want to be with her anymore. FML

#18163904
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54134) - you deserved it (3880)

On 11/05/2011 at 11:40am - love - by oink401 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML

#18041933
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16902) - you deserved it (46014) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France

Today, after a week of searching, I found my escaped snake. In my umbrella, outside, after opening it over my head. FML

Today, the ex who I'm still in love with told me he wishes we could be together, but that first I really need to get over the fact that he already has a wife and kids. FML

#17936936
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28261) - you deserved it (6662)

On 10/08/2011 at 6:10pm - love - by EFFFF (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML

#17936409
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20393) - you deserved it (15817)

On 10/08/2011 at 4:40pm - health - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was emptying a bag of grass from my lawn mower when I saw pieces of what used to be a 50 dollar bill. FML

#17641020
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29435) - you deserved it (5483)

On 09/02/2011 at 12:48am - money - by woodre - United States



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: