diceplaya

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Offline (the 09/03/2016 at 3:48am)

diceplaya

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1394
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About diceplaya : I do it big.

diceplaya's page activity

Visits<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 2:51pm<b>0XBlazeX0</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 1:26am<b>powerkeep</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 8:13pm<b>dewboy444</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 11:13pm<b>KittyHawkMarch</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 2:50am<b>Jishiku</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 4:13pm<b>MittenzTheCat</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 9:07pm<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 12:27am<b>AustinTaylor06</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 7:55pm<b>BigBoyBounce</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 8:17pm<b>wolverine47</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 3:57pm<b>hilow212</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 2:59pm

Fucked!<b>0XBlazeX0</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 7:27am

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diceplaya's favorite FMLs

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML

by okay._. / 11/01/2012 at 3:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I got stopped by the fuzz. The officer told me he "could care less" about my excuses. He was probably about to let me go without a ticket, but my inner Grammar Nazi kicked in and I explained why he meant to say "couldn't care less." I got the ticket. FML

by GN / 09/17/2012 at 12:47am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned why the phrase "seafood taco salad" terrifies everyone in the school's cafeteria. What happened to me after eating it made Saw III look like a Disney movie. FML

by Mandy / 03/26/2012 at 6:21pm / United States / Health

Today, I watched Gigli. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2012 at 7:19pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was preparing dinner for my in-laws for the first time. Nervous, I accidentally spilled the pasta into the sink. With nothing else to prepare, I quickly scooped it all back out. No-one would have been any the wiser, if the kitchen sponge hadn't shown up in the middle of the meal. FML

by Laviolette / 02/23/2012 at 5:01pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2012 at 3:25pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML

by TerribleAddiction / 02/15/2012 at 12:50pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML

by GothicbunnyxC / 01/28/2012 at 6:31pm / Canada (Prince Edward Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized I have to choose between being unemployed or putting up with my perverted boss who desperately wants me. I'm a guy and so is he. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 12:20pm / Romania (Mures) / Work

Today, my girlfriend came to my house crying because the guy who she has been cheating on me with doesn't want to be with her anymore. FML

by oink401 / 11/05/2011 at 11:40am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML

by Virginiedetibo / 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, after a week of searching, I found my escaped snake. In my umbrella, outside, after opening it over my head. FML

Today, the ex who I'm still in love with told me he wishes we could be together, but that first I really need to get over the fact that he already has a wife and kids. FML

by EFFFF / 10/08/2011 at 6:10pm / United States (Idaho) / Love

Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML

by anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 4:40pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I was emptying a bag of grass from my lawn mower when I saw pieces of what used to be a 50 dollar bill. FML

by woodre / 09/02/2011 at 12:48am / United States / Money