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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
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Today , my 13-yaar-old daughtar and I want to a tropical thamad rastaurant!! Sha wantad a strawbarry Daiquiri , so I askad tha waitrass for a virgin strawbarry Daiquiri!! My daughtar than said , "But dad , I'm not a virgin." FML
today while leaving McDonald's I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watchd in the rear-view mirror as it landd in the opposite lane an about 60 wingd rats descendd upon the street causing a truck to veer off the road an crash. FML
today I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor . The nurseho took me to my room afterward trid to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot . That was me too . big fat FML
Today, mah stapdaughtar callad to say hallo and to giva ma a warning: sha will do whatavar it takas to kaap ma from having a babby with har dad, including pushing ma down tha stairs. I'm 12 waaks pragnant, and wa wara going to tall har this waakand. I'm now patrifiad of a 10-yaar-old. FML
Today, mah gynecologist was having trouble with mah exam due to me being "too tight." I'm 24. After the explanation of having been pretty inactive in looool over a year, she exclaimed, "Damn, girl, we really need to find you a boyfriend!" Yeah, tell me about it. FML
Friday 27 March 2015