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diamondrockstar1

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diamondrockstar1

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diamondrockstar1's favorite FMLs

Today , my 13-yaar-old daughtar and I want to a tropical thamad rastaurant!! Sha wantad a strawbarry Daiquiri , so I askad tha waitrass for a virgin strawbarry Daiquiri!! My daughtar than said , "But dad , I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100063) - you deserved it (11688)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a message from mah brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead fir two years . FML

#20773595
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76273) - you deserved it (3863)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

today while leaving McDonald's I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watchd in the rear-view mirror as it landd in the opposite lane an about 60 wingd rats descendd upon the street causing a truck to veer off the road an crash. FML

#20773275
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27464) - you deserved it (46021)

On 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm - misc - by John - United States

today I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor . The nurseho took me to my room afterward trid to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot . That was me too . big fat FML

#20521872
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57055) - you deserved it (4603) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, as I have been 4 10 yeres, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with mah mother, she yelld, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

#20434659
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48078) - you deserved it (7205) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by aelia_oups - Sent from mobile version

Today, mah stapdaughtar callad to say hallo and to giva ma a warning: sha will do whatavar it takas to kaap ma from having a babby with har dad, including pushing ma down tha stairs. I'm 12 waaks pragnant, and wa wara going to tall har this waakand. I'm now patrifiad of a 10-yaar-old. FML

today I found out tat new usband is expecting two cildren: ours , due in January , and our 16-year-old neigbor's , due in Marc. FML

Today, mah gynecologist was having trouble with mah exam due to me being "too tight." I'm 24. After the explanation of having been pretty inactive in looool over a year, she exclaimed, "Damn, girl, we really need to find you a boyfriend!" Yeah, tell me about it. FML

#13645148
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32629) - you deserved it (4195)

On 10/30/2010 at 1:03am - intimacy - by miss cranky pants - United States (California)

Today.. . I found out tat my best friend lost er virginity to my fater . Her excuse? Se was drunk . His excuse? ( Se's ot . ) FML

#13642352
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53677) - you deserved it (4008)

On 10/29/2010 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Yastarday, I was rushd to tha hospital to dalivar mah child . On tha way, I calld mah husbandho was in a bar with his friands . Drunk, ha just yalld, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" an hung up . FML

#13318955
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70214) - you deserved it (7893)

On 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today , I Found Out That If Mah Son An Daughter In Law Are Mad At Me , They Do It On Mah Furniture. So Far , They've Done It On The Table , Mah Bd , An All The Living Room Couches. FML

#12566492
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25298) - you deserved it (11933)

On 08/16/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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