About dftba : Don't Forget to be Awesome is a daily part of life.
dftba's FML badges
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
dftba's favorite FMLs
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML
by The Sbeak / 02/13/2009 at 10:54am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy
by maxthndr / 02/10/2009 at 12:36am / United States / Work
by bittersweet / 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML
by hahahehehohohoo / 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm / United States (California) / Love
by caroline / 02/06/2009 at 10:29am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, I turned on my camera to find pictures of my dad's secretary giving him a blowjob. Minutes later, I hear a scream from another room as my 12-year-old sister discovers similar pictures on HER camera. Mom and dad say it's no big deal. FML
by rexob / 02/04/2009 at 10:51am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by mehdi / 10/13/2008 at 4:20am / Miscellaneous
- Today, I went on a first date with an attractive guy. At the end of it, he ended up holding my bag… Today, while sitting on the couch I couldn't figure where the smell of poop was coming from, until… Today, I woke up to the sound of screaming: my two daughters had found their hamster had gotten wet…