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dftba
  • Town/Country : Pittsburgh, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 March 1989 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 1370
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About dftba : Don't Forget to be Awesome is a daily part of life.

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dftba's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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dftba's favorite FMLs

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047
1200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (618311) - you deserved it (414555)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a girl-scout asked me to buy cookies, in front of Giant. She looked nice, so I bought 5 boxes from her. She took the money and went home with her mom. I opened the boxes when I got home and realized that the boxes just had rocks in them. I got scammed by a girl-scout. FML

#357552
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (197673) - you deserved it (31329)

On 03/15/2009 at 9:14pm - money - by twit (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML

#341783
518 comments

I agree, your life sucks (469118) - you deserved it (23781)

On 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm - love - by thankskimi (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

#283028
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (241067) - you deserved it (36576)

On 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by sucks - United States

Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML

#265039
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (220523) - you deserved it (12964)

On 03/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by TuralSucks (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, at a hard rock concert, a bunch of guys accidentally knocked down a port-a-potty while moshing. I was inside that port-a-potty. FML

#231694
155 comments

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

#217348
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (452657) - you deserved it (32024)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (219065) - you deserved it (28171)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancée broke up with me. Via a myspace message. While we were in the same apartment. FML

#163689
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (312984) - you deserved it (23443)

On 02/28/2009 at 7:22pm - love - by loser (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1097347) - you deserved it (108921)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

#142795
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (240163) - you deserved it (56629)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML

#97632
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (239990) - you deserved it (43397)

On 02/21/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by GD (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

#86179
717 comments

I agree, your life sucks (737379) - you deserved it (74051)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)



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