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About devildog562 : Daily ramble: Summertime is here. Time for the beach , lakes, rivers, Cold beer , whiskey, and BBQ.
Inspiring peeps :
Enslaved- silly kitty always singing
Docbastard-comments are surgically written.
Perdix - bring him back!
My close friends jack, Johnny , Jameson
Baustigt- smartest dog I've ever met
Welshite- still want to know what it's used for
Noor - you're missed .
The fml team for correcting and sometimes, not so much anymore, correcting and shutting dipshits up . Beep.
Currently in the political game, and running for presidency. After presidency I aim for world domination. After world domination, I shall obtain the Dallas cowboys. Vote for Chad! Thank you. Enjoy quick,cheap laughs. Meeting new people is always a plus.Messaging is welcome and free! No subject is taboo.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Today, at school, a cute girl kept glancing up at me, giggling, and looking away as soon as I looked at her. So naturally I walked up to her and asked if she wanted to go out sometime. She said she didn't like me, she was just laughing at how big a zit was on my forehead. FML
Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML
Today, after nearly two months of working at my new job, one of my co-workers finally explained to me that the list of tasks that our boss gives me every day are actually HER duties, and as I complete them, she just sits in her office and watches Netflix. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend at work. Because she was "bored and didn't feel like seeing me" she thought it would be funny to call security and claim that I was stalking her. There is now a picture of my face at her workplace, and anytime I "pester her again" the cops will show up. FML
Today, it's been a week since I was dumped. I planned to stay at my apartment, cry and eat chocolate in peace. My roommate decided to have loud sex with her boyfriend in the apartment. She refused to quiet down, saying "My body, my rules." FML
Today, I received an urgent call from my son's nursery asking me to collect him, saying he was, "lethargic, complaining about being ill and crying". I get there and he's running around, playing and admits he just wanted to come home. They still made me take him home. FML
Today, after telling my husband he can send me dirty texts any time, he sent me one from work. It said, "Babe when I get home, I'm gonna go 9/11 on your pussy ;)". I'm still not sure he understands why that was so offensive. FML
Today, as I was leaving home for my mall kiosk job, my dad asked me where I was off to. When I said I was going to work, he tossed an empty beer bottle to the floor, belched, and said "Bah! Get a REAL job!" He's unemployed and living in my apartment. FML
Friday 12 February 2016