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destinationmoon

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destinationmoon's favorite FMLs

Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML

#20451321
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28187) - you deserved it (7417)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:28am - kids - by Facepalmum (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my dad made a voodoo doll out of a melon. This seems to happen a lot. FML

#20449532
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21031) - you deserved it (2359)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Israel

Today, my boss "borrowed" my prescription sunglasses off my desk. She crashed her car because they made her dizzy, and thinks I should pay for the damages. FML

#20447961
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46815) - you deserved it (2463)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:45pm - work - by whateven (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I received my soccer team jacket that I ordered a month ago. Trying to save money, I'd selected the "no name" option to avoid an extra $20 embroidering fee. My jacket now has "NO NAME" spelled out on the side of it, and I was charged the extra $20 dollars after all. FML

#20415162
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39035) - you deserved it (7191)

On 12/23/2012 at 12:01am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet.  A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML

#19609899
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8539) - you deserved it (47558)

On 05/12/2012 at 12:27am - misc - by Snickers (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112524) - you deserved it (15239)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to meet the girl I'd been talking to online for a while, and fallen in love with. When I arrived at her house, my brother answered the door and took a picture of my shocked face. He and his girlfriend had planned the entire thing because I'm apparently the most gullible member of the family. FML

#14191848
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39096) - you deserved it (9390)

On 12/13/2010 at 3:29pm - love - by phonesage (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, while taking a shower, I was enthusiastically singing one of my favorite songs. When I got out, I noticed a bunch of things missing, and a note on my desk saying "shut the f*ck up, you suck." I was robbed and judged by a thief. FML

#14190731
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31330) - you deserved it (3694)

On 12/13/2010 at 1:10pm - misc - by Username - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

#14190460
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40194) - you deserved it (9879)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, at Arby's, there were two cute guys behind me in line. Right before ordering, my dad said loudly "Go get the calorie sheet. You need to lose more weight before you think about going after those guys." FML

#14186357
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33103) - you deserved it (4693)

On 12/13/2010 at 1:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to check if my neighbours were home to return their dog, having looked after her for a few days. I looked in the window and the place was empty. They'd moved house and stuck us with their dog. FML

#14160868
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27874) - you deserved it (3083)

On 12/11/2010 at 12:16am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML

#14058038
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62042) - you deserved it (4882)

On 12/02/2010 at 8:20am - love - by mrdentist -

Today, I couldn't find my key so I sat against the wall to wait for my roommate to get home. I fell asleep. When I woke up a few hours later, I could hear her inside. She chose not to wake me up and let me in. FML

#14057053
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22136) - you deserved it (3775)

On 12/02/2010 at 4:24am - misc - by e (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized I've been driving for almost two years and still get excited when I park between the lines on my first try. FML

#14017590
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17899) - you deserved it (18156)

On 11/28/2010 at 11:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my friend peed her pants while we were sledding. I could feel it trickling down into my pants. FML

#14012574
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26991) - you deserved it (2505)

On 11/28/2010 at 3:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

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